Angst, Agony & Extacy at Rock Falls High
by omen mortis
Summary: This is a high school AoM AU story! Ian Smith moves to Rock Falls and begins his junior year at the local high school... -v-v-
1. Chapter 1

_**This is an Agents of Metal alternative universe story...I wanted to see what would happen if I'd take these characters and put them into a high school setting. When I was writing this first chapter I listened a lot of 'Different Kind of Pain' by Cold and 'Part That's Holding On' by Red just to get into the right mood...**_

 _ **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**_

-v-v-v-

 **CHAPTER ONE**

...

 _dissociation n._ _(psychology)_

 _an experience of having one's attention and emotions detached_ _from the environment_

-v-v-v-

Ian was sitting on the passenger's seat. He was in his thoughts, looking at the raindrops travelling down the car window. His father was driving. Ian took notice that now they arrived at the edge of the the small town as they passed the sign.

 _Welcome to Rock Falls_

 _Population 25,602_

It had been a month since they had moved. Another state, another house, another high school. Ian sometimes had the strange thought his family was running away from something...But of course that wasn't the case. It was just that his father's work was like this. The company would give him a new assignment, he would have the exactly same argument with Ian's mother and they would move again. And if Ian was honest with himself, he didn't give a fuck anymore. About anything actually. He just drifted numb, waiting for...he wasn't even sure what.

It was the beginning of his junior year. In the previous schools he had realized blending in would be the easiest strategy. But he actually knew that with some effort he could've excelled in his studies; he had it in him - this ability to learn things easily. At one of his previous schools, during his freshman year, he had made an effort once, but then he had found himself thinking why bother. And then they moved again.

Ian looked at the raindrops and had the strangest thought. They looked like they were shivering, lost in some way. But every now and then two or more would find each other and melt into a larger one, continuing their travel downwards...Perhaps reaching the edge of the window was their death.

Suddenly Ian was startled from his scattered thoughts.

"We're here."

His father had stopped the car at the school's parking lot. Richard Smith was a serious man, a man with a sense of duty and a few words. Again, he exchanged the bare minimum with his son.

Ian got out of the car to the cool October morning and walked across the yard to the school building. It had definitely seen better days, all the surfaces were worn and the general atmosphere was dreary. Ian went to the bland cream colored locker to get the necessary books.

During the first day he had spent at Rock Falls High, Ian had already observed the most typical social structure he had witnessed too many times before. Most of the cliques were present; the geeks, the jocks, the nerds, the emo kids, the skaters, the preps, the hipsters, the rockers and the outsiders. But also there was the faceless mass that didn't belong to any of groups. He was aiming to become part of this and already dressed accordingly; nothing too distinctive in his blue jeans, grey t-shirt and black denim jacket. His hair had grown something that could have interpreted him to be a metalhead though. But he definitely didn't want to connect with anyone. Connecting with people had always proven to be a bad thing in hindsight.

vvv

After school Ian sent his father a text message.

 _WALKING HOME TODAY_

He got the reply _OK_ in just a few seconds.

Their house wasn't that far, walking there would take less than half an hour. Ian's route back home went through the town. As he was walking down the main street he couldn't help thinking this was such small town America. There was the diner, hardware store, the town hall. He could've very well imagined Doc and Marty McFly powering up the DeLorean with a lightning from its clocktower.

vvv

Back at home Ian opened his computer and checked the mails. Nothing.

He looked outside the window. There was a spruce forest. The neighbouring house was behind it but he couldn't see it. The night was already falling.

Like Ian did most evenings, he went to his bed and took something from under it - a guitar case. This was a ritual. He knelt before the case and opened it. Opening the case always released this pleasant smell that was quite a subtle, sweet one - Ian connected it very much with everything he considered good in his life. Playing the guitar that was. The case was lined with red fake fur that was probably the origin of the scent and laying there in its place, was his black battered Charvel. It had followed him everywhere; to the few bigger cities, the Great Plains, Midwest and then to Havenport, a small seaside town on the east coast. Then they had moved to a bigger town on west coast and finally Rock Falls.

He had found the case in a second-hand store in Havenport. Who knew what kind of guitar had originally been kept in it...Ian suspected it had to have been an expensive one, something like a Yngwie Malmsteen Stratocaster. His Charvel looked a little out of place as it didn't match the shape of the original guitar.

Ian plugged the guitar to a pedal and put on his headphones. He always played like this, not wanting to bother his parents who went to sleep much earlier than he did. He could barely imagine what it was play like with a real amp. Or what it was like to play in a band. He just had never wanted to join something like that only to leave it soon.

He plucked some chords. Definitely minor chords. He thought how he hated the October. Then it crossed his mind that he hated his life, basically. Then for a second his thoughts returned to something else, that was also connected to Havenport. Very ironically, her name had been Casey and she had been a extremely painful lesson in the long-distance thing never working. The only good thing in the aftermath had been that Ian had discovered Nargaroth.

The playing was now turning into something quite angry but then suddenly it returned back to plain sadness. He was frowning now thinking would it always be like this. Another question followed.

Had he always been like this?

vvv


	2. Chapter 2

_**I'm back! Yeah, so I guess these first chapters aren't going to be long...sort of intros - sorry about that. Just think of it as tuning of an instrument or something. I'll promise I'll try to write a longer chapter soon. So anyway, I found this kind of old song called 'Drive' by Incubus that reminded me of Jo and since I guess using music is my writing method that _drove_ me to write this...Yep, pun intended there, haha, funny, huh?  
** **Special thank you to ArmageddonClan for the review!**_

 _ **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**_

-v-v-v-

 **CHAPTER TWO**

…

Jo's last job that Friday was changing the oil for a Toyota Hiace that was brought earlier that day. Karl allowed her to play music in the the garage and this afternoon the large space was filled with aggressive thrash, Metallica's "The Four Horsemen". Jo thought how while still being in Metallica, Dave Mustaine had originally written the lyrics and the song had been called Mechanix. Jo was amused with the thought Karl might have raised his eyebrows had she played that as the lyrics were kind of garage-related and raunchy.

Soon Karl walked in wearing his dirty blue overalls. He was a closer to thirty and had dark hair, slightly weathered skin and brown eyes. He was smiling, nodding in approval, hearing what she was listening.

"Nice...A classic."

Karl was actually the nephew of Jo's bandmate, Erik. It was one of those mind-boggling situations when the uncle was younger than the nephew. The three, Jo, Erik and Karl, went way back - Erik was one of the first people Jo had befriended after moving to Rock Falls seven years ago. To be honest there hadn't been that many people she had befriended afterwards. Well, with the exception of René, of course.

Jo didn't really want to think about René much. Not long ago she had wondered out loud how could they both still continue playing in Cyberpriest after their break-up. The discussion had ended in them mutually deciding this still was not a reason to disband a band that fulfilled their vision. René was so headstrong, stubborn. But then again, she guessed he thought the same about her. After the initial attraction had worn off they had soon realized being more than friends wouldn't work out. No huge drama there - someone pining after someone.

vvv

Jo had cleaned herself and changed back to her normal clothes now. She was looking her face from the bathroom mirror and then opened her ponytail, then running her fingers through the long copper red hair a few times. Jo couldn't help thinking she looked unhappy even to herself. She wasn't surprised though - she didn't exactly want to do what she'd have to do next. But she forced herself to think about the empty fridge. One could't sustain oneself with only pride - so she'd have to swallow hers now. She looked into the blue eyes in the reflection and watched as the uneasiness turned into fortitude.

She practically strode to Karl's small messy office. He was still doing some paperwork for the Toyota.

"Karl, could I get some of my pay in advance?"

Their eyes locked and Jo immediately knew Karl knew why she had asked.  
She also knew he knew the last thing she wanted was pity.

"Sure Jo," he just said.

They agreed she'd get third of her paycheck and the money was soon in her wallet.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

It had been quite a long time she had been forced to do this.

"So...Are you guys practicing tonight?"

Jo appreciated Karl changing the subject.

"Yeah, it's a Friday after all."

"Have a good one then. Say hi to Erik."

"Thanks. I will."

vvv

Jo worked at the garage after school almost every day now. There was a reason. She was saving the money - or at least most of it. It wouldn't be long anymore, less than a year, and she'd finish high school and leave. She didn't hate Russ...She knew in fact he had tried his best but it was an addiction. She had tried to get him to seek help and had now realized there was nothing more she could do. There was simply no future for her in Rock Falls. And certainly no future for Cyberpriest there. She knew René was onboard, and Erik was close to being onboard too - they were going to move to some bigger city. She hoped they'd have a real shot with the band, playing gigs and recording something eventually.

Jo returned to the small kitchen where she had left the guitar in its case. She put on her worn fur-lined denim jacket and exited the building, heading for her Datsun. In the dark October evening it looked aggressively orange. She put the guitar on the backseat and sat behind the wheel, turning the key. It was one loud car, she thought, but still, it felt so good to drive it.

vvv

They had practiced for almost three hours.

Jo had now returned home but she was still outside, sitting in the Datsun, the paper bag filled with groceries waiting on the passenger seat. It was already dark and she saw a dim light coming from the living room window. Perhaps Russ had passed out watching tv.

It was quite cold. Jo inhaled deliberately deeply and exhaled just to see a cloud of breath. It didn't form though as it wasn't cold enough. Then, Jo closed her eyes. She just needed a moment...

Soon she felt how tears were burning under her closed eyelids - and for a brief second she allowed it to herself. To feel this simple desire of just wishing to be held.

"Fuck," she said soon catching her breath.

It was time to go inside.

vvv


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hi! Short chapter again!**_

 _ **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**_

-v-v-v-

 **CHAPTER THREE**

…

They had gym class and it was dreary October Tuesday. Ian was walking across the field, after track practice, when a dark-haired jock approached him.

"Hey, you're the new guy...Smith, right?"

Ian didn't know the name of the jock.

"Yeah," he answered most neutrally.

"I'm Lucas. You know, we're having trials for the football team, the Dragons, tomorrow. We'd really need some new players, especially in the offensive side. Anyway, I've seen you run...Would you be interested in trying?"

Ian shrugged.

"Sure."

"Great. See you there."

Lucas gave Ian a note with the details and left as quickly as he had arrived. Ian hadn't been prepared for the direct approach and cursed himself for agreeing before figuring out an evasion. He was almost going to press the note into a tight ball, but then again, sure - he would just try and fail.

He thought he had been careless - at the track he had been enjoying the running so much he had been doing it with some motivation. Fuck. Apparently people would always notice something like that. Ian actually had nothing against football - two schools ago he been on the team, and had even found it somehow purging to run and hit others with permission.

The memory of the pleasant rush actually made him think that perhaps at this school he could take up football again.

vvv

The following Wednesday was the trial day. Lucas approached Ian already in the school cafeteria during lunchtime with some of the players.

Ari, Sam, Nil, Sum, Bat. They all had very short rather strange nicknames. Bat was the team captain. He had obviously suffered some injuries, and had probably broken his nose at some point.

They all hard dark short hair. Ian didn't particularly like them but said he'll follow them to the trial after lunch. They were walking across the hallway towards the gym when Bat suddenly stopped, noticing someone at a close-by locker.

"Well, isn't it Unabomber."

The girl turned to face them and Bat was obviously waiting for a reply. She was medium height and had red hair, tight cargo pants and a black worn band t-shirt - Metallica, Ian noted. She looked at them unwavered; first at the others, then at Ian, measuring him from head to toe. She tilted her head slightly, then looking at Bat.

"Your new clone is imperfect. You fucked up the hair color."

Bat shrugged, obviously having a reply ready.

"Maybe...But speaking of fuck ups, how's your dad doing?"

For a second Ian saw how it flashed in the girl's blue eyes before she had time to control it - the hurt and the anger.

"Go fuck a sheep or whatever you do for fun."

The girl had no longer looked at them when delivering the line. She just shut her locker and left.

It had been like watching an awkward play. The whole encounter had been harsh, crude and ugly - very high school, Ian thought. It had also been something he had long ago, many schools before, decided he didn't wish to be part of.

"What was that all about?" he asked.

"Nothing. She's a freak."

Ian followed his gut feeling and didn't make an effort at the trial.

He just shrugged when he was told he didn't make it into the team.


	4. Chapter 4

**_H_ _ere again with another chapter! Still kind of trying to find my way here...  
_ _Thank you to ArmageddonClan for the review again - it was so very encouraging!  
This chapter was very inspired by HIM's 'Tears on Tape' - definitely some hope there!_**

-v-v-v-

 **CHAPTER FOUR**

…

The Halloween festival was held annually at the main park of Rock Falls. The area was lit up with jack-o-lanterns, colourful lights and the air was filled with the smell of caramel apples, roasted pumpkin seeds and sweet corn. The pathways were lined with booths selling all sorts of seasonal stuff - pumpkin pies, candy bats, candy worms, candy tombstones, candy skulls, orange candy cotton...

It was already quite late, closer to 11 pm. Ian walked aimlessly around the area and couldn't help wondering why he had come in the first place. But he had to admit he had enjoyed the atmosphere, and there had also been some decent local bands playing. The whole thing had made him feel kind of lonely though...So he figured it was time to leave.

Ian was walking towards the entrance. He could still hear the presenter's voice, echoing far from the stage.

" _Last up we have another band from Rock Falls...Please give a hand to…"_

Ian was surprised - he didn't know there'd still be a band playing.  
The presenter had now paused - he clearly had difficulties with the name.

" _Cyberpriest!"_

There was a silence, but then, within seconds, there was a scream which was followed by a thunderous drum-beat and the sound of thrashing guitar.

Ian stopped dead in his tracks.

For a moment he just stood there, frozen.

Then, he turned around and began to walk back.

vvv

Ian found there were surprisingly many people watching the gig, probably closer to eighty, and a group of high schoolers were gathering right in front of the stage banging their heads. Cyberpriest clearly had a fanbase.

Ian remained in the back, observing.

There were three people in the band. Behind the drums there was a sturdy, bearded senior. Ian remembered seeing him at school - he could hardly be ignored. He was the only one not wearing make-up since both the bassist/vocalist and the guitarist had skull-make up on.

The lean-built bassist/vocalist was clad in black leather, the shirt revealing his arms. He didn't seem to mind the cold October night. He sang with intensity, and very high.

The guitarist was a girl. Ian realized there was something familiar about her but couldn't quite place why. Anyway, he thought she looked...brazen. Yes, this was the perfect word to describe her, Ian thought. She looked absolutely ready to take on the world with her dark red ESP.

Already during the halfway first song there was a mosh pit forming and even to his own surprise, Ian headed there. He'd done enough of observing. It was a semi-closed pit where some kids were more jumping up and down but some were shoving each other - it was still very friendly - the volunteers in charge overlooked the whole thing.

While jumping in the pit Ian was suddenly washed over with an overflow of emotions...He turned back to plain headbanging when he noticed his eyes were getting all teary. But he didn't mind - it felt good. Soon the second song followed, without any introductions, and halfway through it the guitarist began her solo. As she played the first notes Ian immediately stopped moshing and was drawn to the edge of the pit, close to the stage, just so that he could see her better. He was there just in time to observe how her fingers were travelling on the fretboard, hitting the notes at an amazing speed. Ian recognized the influence - the legendary Yngwie Malmsteen. He thoroughly enjoyed her playing.

But then just at the end of the solo, she played a note from the wrong fret, and the mistake was then followed by another one false note. Then, she picked the correct pattern again. Most of the people probably didn't even notice the glitch, but Ian did, as he was a guitarist observing another. Then, the solo ended and the song returned to the verse. Ian kept looking at the guitarist. He felt sorry for her as from her body language he could see she had lost a lot of her confidence. She kept playing, looking down, her hair obscuring most of her skull-face, her lips a tight line.

"Don't worry about it. It was great," he said quietly.

Ian scoffed himself immediately. Why had he said this? She couldn't hear him.

But then, the guitarist suddenly looked at the audience, and her eyes met his. The look in her eyes, which looked very dramatic due to the eye-socket shading, was one filled with defeat. Ian could easily imagine she was probably cussing inside her head. He tried to convey the message he had just said aloud in his expression, and perhaps he imagined it, but she looked like she got it. She threw her long hair back, so that most of it was no longer on her face, and looked back at her guitar, playing with new-found determination.

Suddenly Ian realized what he himself must have looked like, if she had truly even looked at him. His hair was kind of a mess, his eyes still red and puffy, face all flushed.

His thoughts were interrupted as he felt something hit him. There was an ugly sound of a skull hitting another, followed by immediate pain on the back of his head. He lost his balance and before he knew it, he was on the ground with the person who had hit him.

Luckily no one stepped on them and the surface was soft, worn grass. The first aid workers were there in no time. Ian could soon see the round face of a red-haired woman filling his field of vision. They were probably the center of all attention. He noticed the band was no longer playing. It must've looked severe.

"I am going to ask you a few questions, please listen carefully and give your best effort," the woman said with a serious voice. Ian knew this procedure. Something similar was done to a football player who was hit in the head. He'd just answer as efficiently as possible to get it over with.

"Where are we now?"

"Rock Falls."

"Yeah. Where exactly?"

"The park."

"What day is it?"

He had to think for a moment.

"Thursday."

"What are we celebrating?"

"Halloween."

"Do you remember what you had for lunch at school yesterday?"

"A tuna sandwich."

"Can someone verify that?"

Ian thought for a second.

"Probably not."

"Let's see...The name of your English teacher then. You're a junior, right?"

"Yeah...Mrs. Kowalsky."

"Good."

After doing a few more tests the woman apparently came to the conclusion the head injury was nothing severe. She almost dragged Ian up - this was no trouble to her as her spherical figure was obviously filled with strength - and led him to a tent a bit further. Cyberpriest continued playing. The person hitting him was also taken there - he was a freshman who now looked very sorry and scared.

"Sorry," he said to Ian at the tent.  
"I...guess I got carried away."  
The boy was stroking his hair neurotically. Also, his voice had sort of broken mid-sentence. Ian couldn't bring himself to be angry at him. It had been an accident - also, he himself had been dangerously close to the edge of the mosh pit.

"It's okay. Forget it," he said.

Ten minutes later Ian was sitting on a bench in the first aid tent, feeling a bit nauseous. He could heard Cyberpriest was still playing. They'd probably end their set soon.

"Can I go back?" he asked most anxiously.

"Sorry. Have to observe you for a while. You took quite a hit," the red-haired woman said, looking at him with sympathy.

"I guess you like the music," she said half-smiling.

Ian nodded. He was annoyed, almost angry - but not at the woman. It's just that he would have very much wanted to see the end of Cyberpriest's set. Very much. And he hadn't felt like this in ages.

vvv

Back at home, Ian was now lying on the bed. His mother would check up on him every now and then because of the concussion. He was no longer nauseous though.

He looked at the tapestry. It was the most boring beige he could think of. The abstract floral-like patterns seemed to be similar to clouds, one could imagine anything from them. But his mind was far from the wallpaper. He couldn't stop thinking about Cyberpriest.

Staring at the wall he made himself a promise. It was done before the more cynical part of him interjected and convinced this was a path of disappointments.

He was going to give himself one shot. This was what he wanted more than anything - to play guitar, to thrash - like there's no tomorrow. And yes, to play in a band. In this band.

It was decided now.

He was going to talk to Cyberpriest.

vvv


	5. Chapter 5

**_Hi! This is kind of a build-up chapter, I guess.  
Inspiration music for this was 'Many of Horror' by Biffy Clyro...  
Many horrors to come, I guess - or not :P_**

 _ **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**_

-v-v-v-

 **CHAPTER FIVE**

…

 _Following Monday Afternoon, 1311 hours_

No way. At the other end of the hallway, by the lockers, Ian could see the vocalist/bassist of Cyberpriest. He was wearing black jeans and a long-sleeved shirt with a credibly thrashed thrash vest on top of it. He had long, almost black hair and his head was kind of square shaped. There was no doubt about it. It was him.

Ian thought it was a sign. Yes. Like the sign of the gun in the sky. What a strange thought, he found himself thinking. Perhaps it was post-concussion induced.

He focused now. One shot - he had promised this to himself - and he knew there was no time to linger. He took the necessary steps across the hallway. Do or die. Sink or swim.

"Hi. Heard you last weekend. It was great but I think you'd sound better with two guitars. And I think I could play the second one."

The guy looked at him. The first word that came to Ian's mind from the look in his eyes was 'crazy'. That was twofold. He clearly thought Ian was crazy but it also looked like perhaps he was crazy too.

"What did you say? And who are you?"

"I'd like to become the second guitarist of Cyberpriest. I'm Ian Smith."

"Well, Ian Smith. Gotta hand it to you, you have balls. And It's interesting you came to talk to me right this moment because I was just thinking…about guitars. In plural."

It had been a sign, Ian thought.

"How long have you played?" the bassist/vocalist asked, getting something from his locker, a long leather jacket that was.

"Since I was thirteen."

"Your favourite band?"

"Nargaroth."

The bassist/vocalist raised his eyebrows.

"Interesting."

Ian's heart was pounding. The bassist/vocalist faced him now. Ian honestly couldn't read his face but guessed he had made up his mind. It was his very own Schrödinger's cat moment - he was in the band and not in the band simultaneously. Or perhaps he had misunderstood the whole concept of that cat.

"Well..." the bassist/vocalist began deliberately slowly.

"We are having a rehearsal next Wednesday."

He shrugged.

"So you might as well come and...have a trial."

He had said part about the trial with a smile; Ian interpreted more benevolent than malevolent. But then the other end of his mouth kind of curled up and the expression was definitely smug, as if he was looking forward to it in a malicious way.

"So Wednesday at five. Don't be late. Give me your number. I will send the address."

Ian gave his number and the bassist/vocalist took out his phone and sent him the message immediately. Ian could see the place was on the other edge of the town. He'd have a hard time getting there.

The bassist/vocalist was now putting his leather coat on, clearly about to leave.

"Anyway, I'm René. The angel of death with the guitar is Jo, and the bear behind the drums is Erik. Just so that you'll know who's who..."

Ian was expecting him to add something along the lines of 'when we suck the life out of you / tear you apart / torture you to death'.

It never came.

"Great. I'll be there."

vvv

Ian had a problem. He assumed Cyberpriest assumed he'd bring his own amp and he didn't have one. Also, he realized he hadn't asked which song to practice. He knew it wasn't cool but he knew asking would increase his chances so he sent a message.

 _WHAT SONG SHOULD I PRACTICE?  
ALSO, CAN I BORROW AN AMP?  
-IAN_

He got a reply.

 _TORMENTOR._  
 _CHECK OUR WEBSITE._  
 _AMP OK._  
 _-R_

vvv _  
_

Ian triple-checked the address. It was a regular two-storey house. The mailbox had the name Stein on it. Perhaps this was a prank and he was given some random address. He wouldn't stop here now though. He had taken the bus to as close as he could get and then run a mile or so with the guitar case. Luckily the rain had been only light and he wasn't soaked.

He walked to the door and pressed the doorbell. His heart beating - partly from the exertion, partly from sheer stress. Soon the door opened. There was a tall older woman, possibly in her sixties, with grey hair.

"Good evening...Ma'am," Ian said.

It had sounded odd even to himself. He wasn't good with formalities.

"By any chance, is there a band practicing in this...residence?"

Ian noted that the woman was perhaps holding in her laughter.

"Sure there is. You must be Ian. Follow me."

They went through some rooms. A lobby with the stairs going up, then a neat kitchen. Behind the kitchen in a corridor there was a door she opened, with a dark narrow staircase leading downstairs.

"He's here!" the woman shouted.

"They're waiting you down there. Good luck."

She seemed to mean it.

Ian descended the stairs. The air was kind of musty, reminded him of the attic at his grandparents' place.

In the basement the few lights, similar used at construction sites, had been directed towards the stairs. Funny, Ian thought. Proper interrogation atmosphere. He was now at the base of the stairs, trying to see what was behind the lights.

From the shadows a character approached him. The guitarist, he realized.

"This is the guy?"

The female voice had been low, it sounded like the person possibly had a cold. Ian's eyes had now adjusted and seeing the face of the speaker, Ian recognized her now - not only from the gig but from before. She was the girl whom Bat, the football team captain, had harassed, and who in return had given him a mouthful.

So this was Jo.

She turned to look at René.

"I've seen him with the Drags. This is a prank or something."

She turned to look at Ian again, most coldly.

"You can return to your hive now."

No. It wouldn't end here, not like this, Ian thought.

"Hey, let's not jump into conclusions," he began with a voice that sounded very convincing even to himself.

"Yes, I attended the trials. True. But it wasn't for me. The team wasn't for me."

Ian had said all this looking at the girl, Jo, straight into her eyes.

"The team wasn't for you?" she echoed his words, not blinking.

It was becoming a staring contest now.

"It wasn't. I'm not with the Drags, as you put it. Never was."

He had to blink now. She won.

"Enough of politics," René said.

"Let's see what you got."

vvv


	6. Chapter 6

_**Hi! I now know exactly why writing this chapter was so hard - I have been thinking too much about the original audition in AoM!**_ _ **This is just going to be different. Might as well accept that :) I was also kind of surprised what music score was needed for writing this, Fernando Velázquez's 'The Impossible Main Titles'.  
**_ **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**

-v-v-v-

 **CHAPTER SIX**

…

Jo frowned.  
But then she nodded and turned back to her red ESP.

"Enough of drama, René. Put the normal lights on. Now."

This stern voice had come from another dark corner. Ian now noticed the drum kit and a shape of a grizzly character behind it. The voice had been low and annoyed.

This had to be Erik.

"Don't underestimate drama," René said shaking his head and walking where several extension cords led.

"There is a reason why I lead the band..." he was mumbling loud enough so that everyone heard him, Ian too.

Then, the brutal contrasting lights changed to a warm glow of a lamp in the ceiling.

"I still think it was worth it."

Ian was now taking in the space around him, and the members of the band. Now the basement seemed even cosy. There was a huge worn rug with an oriental pattern. The other end of the room had cardboard boxes and piles of books. Also, there was a black leather sofa that had seen better days but fit perfectly to the atmosphere.

"You there…?

It had been the guitarist, Jo. She pointed at a small amp above a half-stack next to the wall.

"René asked me to borrow you that. It's my old one. The only thing going for it...is that it can still be turned on."

Ian noticed Jo looked at the amp with some fondness - he had also heard it in her voice.  
But then she sounded serious, as if that was expected.

"Take a moment to get familiar with it."

Ian was still holding his guitar case. He found a place to put it down and also took his jacket off. And then took his guitar and plugged it to the amp. First the sound circulated and he adjusted the volume.

He had considered the other guitarist might consider him a rival. But her initial hostility seemed to be gone now.

vvv

The moment of truth. After downloading 'Tormentor' from Cyberpriest's extremely minimalistic website Ian had spent the previous 48 hours learning it down to perfection.

"That was too easy I guess," René said afterwards, obviously pleased with his playing.

"We have this new one...Necrothrashing desecrator. Let's play that one. Jo will show you the chords."

Ian tried his best to memorize them as she showed them.

"After I play the first solo, I was thinking you could play the second one," she said.

Again, she had sounded absolutely neutral.

"Sure."

They began playing the song and Ian couldn't believe how well he was doing.

He was just about to finish his solo when _it_ happened. The fingers of his left hand didn't have time to react - the fretboard suddenly vanished underneath them. And in an instant Ian understood: the strap of his guitar had detached from the other end. This had never happened before. The guitar just fell down and he could only look as it smashed onto the floor, the impact detaching the neck.

Silence.

His black Charvel lay there - not only battered but also dismembered now. The strings were a mess, and the screws that had connected the body to the neck once were visible, having parts of the ripped neck still attached to them.

Ian would've given anything for this moment to be a nightmare, but no - this was reality. And now, he realized he actually felt like crying, but he held himself together with rage‚ thinking this is what happens when you make an effort; note to self - never make an effort. Never. Ever. Again.

The members of Cyberpriest just stared at the guitar. Ian felt how Jo, who was closer to him, then looked at him.

Just laugh already, he thought, not looking up.

But then René broke the silence.

"I've heard of dropping the mic..."

To Ian's surprise the voice hadn't been what he expected. It had been humorous but not mean.

Turning to some kind of autopilot mode, Ian bent to pick up the pieces; he detached the guitar from the amp cable and carried the remains to his case. Who knows, perhaps it could still be fixed. But the band trial couldn't be fixed, he knew that. He heard the voices in the background, the band had gathered next to Erik's drums. He ignored them as he was closing the case now. It felt like symbolically closing the coffin of his dreams. Then he reached for his jacked and put it on.

"Hey."

It was Jo.

"Up until that point…"

She gestured the guitar case looking pained. Ian guessed she generally cared about guitars. Then she raised her eyes.

"It was good."

What? He didn't get it.  
What was she saying? He could see that Jo caught the disbelief.

"Yeah, I was just saying to René I think you have potential. So don't go yet...You can borrow my old Jackson over there."

Ian felt like his heart jumpstarted and he hadn't even realized it had shut down.

vvv

Ian was now sitting in Jo's car, a small orange thing. She had promised to give him a ride as the last bus had already left. They had played all of Cyberpriest's songs and he had been accepted into the band - with a trial period though. Still, he had just wished to jump up and down.

They had sat in silence listening to the car radio. The tiredness combined with the euphoria had now made Ian slip into a comfortable stupor. He was observing Jo as he had the opportunity. Ian thought that the shape of her head was a actually bit similar to the band's frontman's René's - squarish somehow but then before his mind applied any censorship he thought that Jo looked much prettier than René.

"So you saw us last weekend?" Jo asked as she was driving obviously concentrated.

"Yeah," he answered, dragging his mind back into the present.

"Well, what did you think of the stage show in last song?" she continued talking and smiled asking the question.  
Ian winced internally, being reminded of the painful incident.

"Actually, I was in the first aid tent during that song. So unfortunately I didn't get the full experience."

"What happened?"

"I got hit in the head in the mosh pit."

Ian noticed Jo suddenly glanced at him sideways.

"Right...Too bad," she nodded, turning to look back at the road.

"What was the stage show like then?"

"Well, it was something René came up with...He bit the head of a rubber bat. You know, since it was Halloween. Luckily he didn't swallow it."

She chuckled and he began to chuckle too, perhaps even a bit too much because of the tiredness.  
Then he realized it was already time to turn to his driveway.

"There," he said pointing towards it.

vvv

Ian folded the seat and took the guitar case from the backseat.

"How long have you had it?" Jo asked looking at the case.

"Four years."

"Maybe it could be still fixed."

"Maybe..."

"Anyway, thanks for the ride. "

"You're welcome."

Ian was about to leave but noticed she still wanted to say something.

"Since you're joining the band you might consider getting a car since you live this far...Do you have a license?"

"I do and I'd get a car..."

Ian winced internally again.

"But I just don't have the money right now."

She suddenly had a kind of cryptic look on her face.

"You know, I might be able to help with that."

vvv


	7. Chapter 7

**_Too much chocolate. Sorry for typos/irrationality/whatever._**

 _ **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**_

-v-v-v-

 **CHAPTER SEVEN**

...

 _Three days later_

Jo and Ian were standing in the corner of Karl's workshop, by a metal table where the pieces of the broken Charvel lay. The scene resembled one of autopsy or possibly archaeology.

Jo had asked him to check out some possible vehicle, but also, she had asked whether Ian liked to have a go at fixing the guitar. He felt he had no reason to refuse and thought that getting to know Jo might also help him to find his place in the band.

Jo was now touching the severed neck. They had cleaned the torn pieces of wood from it and the attaching screws. The parts didn't exactly fit together anymore.

"I don't know…Some tape maybe?"

She was somehow amused by her own suggestion and Ian could only nod, suppressing a smile. Soon Jo had attached the parts with matte black gaffer tape. Ian tightened the strings and tuned the guitar still on the table to his best ability. Jo looked thoughtful now, touching the pickup selector.

"Right...The moment of truth."

She lifted her old amplifier onto the table. Ian attached the cable to the output jack and turned the control knobs. Then, he plucked a note and the distinctive and familiar sound came from the amplifier. They glanced at each other, kind of surprised. The Charvel most certainly wasn't dead.

"Let me try something," Jo said taking hold of the guitar gently and lifting it upward - still keeping it on the table. She put both her hands on the back of the guitar, where the neck met the body, holding the parts together, supporting the neck from below.

"The tape won't hold for good...But I'll hold it. Try playing something," she said gesturing Ian to come right next to her.

For a second he hesitated for some reason but then he moved and took the playing pose - his left arm had to go over Jo's arms. He couldn't help noticing the two were quite close, their arms kind of touching. But there was no need to get bothered by that, he thought. Besides, she didn't seem to care, just concentrating on the guitar.

Then he thought of what to play and began plucking the notes of the beginning of Metallica's 'One'...Perhaps he imagined it but Jo looked down and smiled when she recognized the tune. Then, he tested all the different pickup settings one by one and varied both the volume and gain. The Charvel was most definitely alive - it sounded almost the way it should.

For a moment Ian forgot their proximity but suddenly he was very much reminded of it as she turned around to look at him, her face close.

"I think we could survive with just replacing the neck. The body seems just fine. I could ask Axel if he'd have a matching spare neck. If he does, I'm sure we could get a fair deal."

Axel? Ian had no idea who she was talking about. She must've noticed his confusion.

"I mean...You could."

Suddenly she seemed kind of tense.

"I guess we're done here, right? It's kind of difficult to hold it together," she said with a serious tone.

"Of course," Ian said immediately taking his arm away so that she could land the taped guitar back on the table.

"So…who's Axel?" he asked.

Jo looked at him puzzled.

"Axel...From Axes 'n' Amps. You don't know him?"

"Nope."

"He has like the best music store an hour away in the city and he's pretty much a legend himself... So you really haven't been there?"

"I haven't."

"Well, then you should go sometime...Smith."

There it had been again. _Smith_. Apparently Jo Alder had decided to call him that and for some reason he didn't like it. Of course it was his name but he would have preferred her calling him Ian.

"Anyway, we could send him an email about the neck," she said.

"A good idea."

"So...do you want to remove the strings now…?"

"Sure."

Jo began to loosen the screws on the nut with an Allen key, one by one. At the same time Ian was working on the other end, loosening the bridge screws with another hex key. Then, Jo began loosening the tuning pegs, releasing the strings. There was a kind of peaceful atmosphere in the garage. Suddenly Jo broke the silence.

"Have you ever thought about upgrading the mics...I mean, I have a few good spares if you want to try them."

"I've never changed them actually...Been thinking about it though. It's the soldering part that I find difficult."

Jo stopped loosening the peg and looked him in the eyes.

"I can help with that if you want."

It didn't really take Ian a second to think what to reply.

"Thanks, I'll take you up on that."

The strings were now removed. Jo ripped the gaffer tape off the guitar.

Ian knew he needed to thank her - and bit reluctantly he chose matching her way of addressing him.

"Thanks Alder...For all your help."

She visibly seemed uneasy by his words.

"Really... No problem. Just helping a bandmate."

Like right on cue Karl walked up to them.

"So what's the diagnosis?"

"It needs a new neck," Jo answered promptly.

Karl raised his eyebrows.

"Lucky that it's a guitar and not a person…"

Then he looked at Ian.

"Jo mentioned there was something you might be interested in."

vvv

"What's the catch?" Ian asked.

He and Karl were standing next to a small grey car, a Ford Ka, parked in the backyard of the garage.

"Well, if you're arrested driving that thing, it's not exactly legal. The guy who brought it to me had gotten it in the country in quite a freaky way. He had actually driven it through Alaska."

Karl coughed and continued.

"But if you don't speed or do some stupid shit, I can promise sheriff McDuff isn't going to confiscate it. Just don't leave Rock Falls."

Ian touched the hood of the car.

"So…you really want nothing for it?"

"Yep, you heard the story. Just promise if you do get caught, don't mention me," Karl said with a grin.

"Reasonable. I'll take it."


	8. Chapter 8

**Even more chocolate.**

 **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**

-v-v-v-

 **CHAPTER EIGHT**

…

The thing was that Jo had remembered Ian. And not just from the incident with the Drags. She had made the other connection when dropping him off that first night, when Ian had told about hitting his head. It was then she had understood...

The memory went back to the Halloween gig - right after the solo she messed up. She hadn't been able to get over herself and it had been turning into a vicious circle; she had felt so unprofessional and had been loathing herself for that too. It was then she had looked up and seen _him_.

He definitely hadn't been there before, in the first row, right in front of her. And it lasted perhaps two seconds, how their eyes met. And it was that what Jo mostly remembered - his eyes. The look in them had been so intense, somehow so burning and so… compassionate. And the strangest thing was... That his look, this brief encounter, it just gave her new strength she could not explain.

After picking herself mentally up Jo was going to look at the person again, just to see what he truly looked like, but things in the crowd had become chaotic. Some people had hit their heads together and fallen to the ground and the band definitely needed to stop playing. Waiting there on the stage Jo had still searched the person with her eyes but the he was nowhere to be seen. And it was then she had the bad feeling... It had to be him on the ground. Jo couldn't quite see what was happening - besides that the first aid workers were there. It made her heart ease a bit. Then, she had seen the two head-collision victims from the back, escorted away, and had been quite sure the other one had been him.

After the gig Jo had run to the first aid tent. Then she just stood outside for awhile thinking what the hell was she doing there. It was so stupid - she wasn't even sure which was worse - either that he was or wasn't in there. Having come there she felt she should do something, so she approached a volunteer, an older man, next to the tent entrance.

"Excuse me...I'd really need to know if someone is ok. It was the guy who hit his head during the last gig."

The older man looked at Jo for a second. She realized she was still wearing the skull make-up. But hey, it was Halloween.

"They both left a while ago. No need to be worried," he said in a friendly, matter-of-fact tone.

"Great. Thanks," was all Jo could reply.

She walked away relieved but her heart also sank.

She'd probably never find out who he had been.

But now she had. And now she'd been in the same band with him for two weeks and Jo couldn't help wondering… Was this the same guy? Ian Smith was so… controlled, even restrained, like he was trying to hide himself all the time. Yes, he probably had his reasons, good reasons - who didn't, Jo thought - and of course she'd allow him this. But a small part of her, she had to admit it, just wished to see those intense eyes again.

vvv

Ian thought that November felt like a dream. Taking the Ka and driving to the Stein house. Practicing the songs. Bonding with his new bandmates. He took the role of the observer again but they didn't seem to mind. In the back of his mind he feared it would all end too soon.

The house belonged to Erik's grandmother, that everyone seemed to call Grandma Stein, whom he lived with. The story was such that his parents had moved to a bigger city by the coast but Erik had wished to stay in Rock Falls. The band rehearsals were usually every Tuesday and Friday. Ian had now observed the dynamics of the band and was getting a hang of things. On the surface it appeared Cyberpriest was very much René's band. He took the lead in the creative process writing the songs and the lyrics...He was obviously the brains, so to speak. Erik on the other hand provided the thrash beat with the necessary intensity. Ian had to think for a moment what Jo's role was. As a lead guitarist she had most influence with the riffs and solos but there was more; Ian had noticed she very subtly influenced René, knowing exactly how to do this without making him raise hell - because the guy could have quite a temper - something Ian had noticed within the first weeks. But altogether, the things Jo contributed made Cyberpriest's sound much richer and René clearly thought very highly of her. Ian had also pieced together that once the two had been more than bandmates.

Axel replied within a few days that he had a spare neck and the price was more than fair. Ian was also thinking of getting a proper amp. Jo also wished to check out some things at the store so she offered to take him to Axes 'n' Amps that following Friday with her Datsun. They met at the parking lot after school.

"Hey Unabomber!" someone shouted from the other end of the lot. It was Bat.

Jo didn't even turn around but just gave him the finger from distance. Then she opened the car and they both sat inside. Ian somehow sensed she didn't wish to talk about Bat. But when they drove away from the school, Jo was clearly somewhat angry.

"Can you put the radio on?" she asked.

Ian turned it on.

"Are you in a hurry? I'd rather not take the motorway. With this car it's horror already at fifty."

Ian told he was not in a hurry and so they took the route that would take about half twenty minutes longer. Ian actually preferred this because the road was surrounded by mighty forests and at times a view to large fields would open up. It was late November and already frosty. Quite beautiful actually.

The radio station they were listening to played both rock and metal. Suddenly a song familiar to Ian began playing; Children of Bodom's 'Deadnight Warrior'. Ian noted that the Datsun had a very decent sound system. He enjoyed as the song furiously rolled on, like the road beneath them. The lyrics were muddled and angry. He knew the band came from Europe, a Scandinavian country with probably eternal dark winters.

The two sat in silence but it wasn't disturbing. Ian thought that he didn't know much about Jo. He had noticed she kept her distance but was usually friendly towards him. When relaxed - which happened when they sat on the sofa after band practice - she would even crack a joke or two. Ian had noticed she had a tattoo on her left upper arm - small angel wings with some small letter in the middle. He didn't know why she was called the Unabomber by the Drags and he didn't know anything about his family. He didn't think this stuff was his business anyway. He was just happy she gave him room in the band.

After an hour they arrived in the city and parked outside Axes 'n' Amps. Ian followed Jo to the counter where a man dressed in a worn flannel, Axel he guessed, was just packing up something for two customers. He looked exactly like Ian had imagined him, very old school rock 'n roll. After the customers had left, he immediately greeted Jo most warmly.

"So you're the new addition to Cyberpriest?" he asked.  
"Yep," Ian said.  
Axel took them to the back of the shop where he had the spare neck. Ian had brought the Charvel's body and luckily it was a match.

Later Jo was trying out some pedals and Ian was just strolling around the shop when a guitar caught his eye. It was a red BC Rich Warlock. He went to ask Axel whether he could he try it out. It seemed that people were just trying the cheaper guitars without asking but he wished to be polite. It had been no problem and he headed to the most peaceful corner of the shop where Axel set him up with an amp. Just for laughs he decided to try out the solo from 'Deadnight Warrior'. It didn't go well.

"That guitar suits you," he suddenly heard Jo's voice.

Ian blushed not having noticed her before. Who knows how long she had observed him and the poor rendition of the guitar solo.

"Just trying it out," he said taking the guitar off.

"Couldn't afford it anyway."

"Maybe one day," Jo said.  
"Can I try it?"

She took the guitar and played some riffs. Then, she actually tried playing the same song, 'Deadnight Warrior' and Ian had a feeling she played it deliberately badly.

"Yeah, it's challenging," she smiled putting the guitar away, her fingers lingered touching the glossy red surface of the instrument.

vvv

"So you're driving back to Rock Falls tonight?" Axel asked when they were paying at the counter.  
"Yep."  
"Drive safely. I just heard the weather might get pretty bad."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah. It was on the radio."  
Ian and Jo looked at each other.  
"Right."


	9. Chapter 9

**When things get even more irrational.**

 **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**

-v-v-v-

 **CHAPTER NINE**

…

They moved all the stuff including Ian's new amp to the Datsun as fast as they could and set the course back to Rock Falls. Jo still preferred avoiding the motorway. In the beginning the weather didn't seem that bad. It was just rain. But suddenly Jo began cussing quietly to herself.

"What is it?" Ian asked.  
"Freezing rain," she answered.  
"Can I help?" he asked feeling the adrenaline rushing. He forced his voice sound as calm as possible.  
"Put the radio louder and just say something every now and then. Like 'You're doing great'. Stuff like that."  
"You're doing great," Ian said immediately.  
"That's good."  
She had almost smiled.

The windscreen wipers were doing the best they could as the icy rained turned into a full-blown snowstorm. It was dark now and Jo had to use the high beam lights. The lit-up snow made it look like they were travelling in Star Wars' lightspeed.

Jo continued driving quite slowly for fifteen minutes or so. The snow was now piling on the road, making it difficult to steer. There wasn't any other traffic. Apparently they were the only lunatics on this part of the road.

It was then the radio began playing Dragonforce's new song "Dawn Over a New World". Ian thought the epic lyrics fit their situation perfectly. He knew Jo did her best but she was shaking her head occasionally, frowning.

"I don't think -" she began.

Within seconds they both jolted in their seats as the car ended in a snowy ditch.

The radio was still on.

 _Across the highest mountains  
and through the endless seas..._

It was the last verse. Modulated.

"That was...bound to happen," Jo sighed.  
"You did your best," Ian tried to encourage her.  
He honestly meant it.

They just kept listening, in the slightly tilted position, looking at the snow through the windshield.  
 _  
We stand before the dawn of a new world._

The song reached its end. Jo turned the radio off.

They both dug their phones and decided that Jo would call sheriff McDuff. It turned out the two tow trucks in the area were needed in other places. The blizzard had surprised many. Jo said they would hold the fort for some time but the two of them couldn't get the car back to the road by themselves. But a regular car could pull them out. The sheriff promised to send help.

"You're not calling your parents?" Jo asked.  
"No thanks."  
"What about you?"  
Jo just shook her head.  
"Anyway. We have to work quickly now. I have some stuff in the trunk. Since we have to be here for awhile it's best we go to the backseat and create a cocoon."  
"A...cocoon?"  
"Yes. Something like that. At this point we still possess a body temperature of 98 degrees so we have to use that to our advantage. I go get the stuff from the trunk and you go to the backseat already."

Ian noted Jo seemed to have gone into some...mode, sounding quite efficient. He complied and soon Jo threw a bag next to him. It had hand warmers, a small shovel, a flashlight, three blankets, four bags of peanuts, ten bars of chocolate and four water bottles. She ordered Ian to wrap himself in a blanket and put the hand warmers on. Jo didn't come inside the car yet but Ian heard how she threw something over the back window and it became darker in the car - he quickly understood this was some kind of rubber mat. Then she clearly worked with the antenna, for five minutes or so. Finally she returned inside the dark car next to Ian, with red cheeks, her hair kind of wet. Ian realized he hadn't fully understood how extreme the blizzard was now. Seeing Jo now he felt he should've insisted helping her.

"I supported the antenna and attached a red ribbon to it. They should find us."  
She had wiped the snow off her coat before entering the car and now it looked just wet. She looked at the coat shaking her head.  
"This isn't good…" she sighed more to herself than to Ian.  
"Can I help?" he asked.  
"This jacket's a problem..."  
Only now Ian noticed how much she was trying to hide she was shivering.  
"You were talking about that...cocoon?"  
He had suddenly remembered her words.  
"Yeah."  
"If you want I could...I mean, we could share my jacket. It's still dry. And then we put the blankets on us, right."  
Jo was still frowning.  
"I really don't know...What would be the smartest thing to do?" Ian asked.  
Jo just nodded and took the wet jacket off, wearing now only the long-sleeved band shirt.  
Ian opened his jacket and took the other sleeve off so that he could actually share it.  
Jo cleared her throat, avoiding looking him in the eyes and placed herself against him.  
"Right. I just need to say this out loud...We're only doing this because we're stranded inside a Datsun. In a blizzard. Please don't get any wrong ideas, Smith."  
"Of course not," Ian said, feeling hurt. He guessed he had sounded that too.  
"I'm sorry," Jo said immediately.  
Ian heard the sincerity in her voice.  
"It's okay. These are extreme circumstances. I know," Ian said.  
With his free hand Ian arranged the three blankets on them as best as he could. He accidentally touched Jo's hand with his. Despite having also hand-warmers, hers felt very cold.  
"Your hand…" he began.  
"I know," she said.  
"Can I...?" Ian asked offering his hand.  
Jo nodded and Ian took her hand inside his.  
"The other...?" he asked frowning.  
She offered it so that it was between them. Ian took it inside his other hand and it was as cold as he suspected. For some time hey just sat there, against each other, in silence. Ian noticed she was slowly warming up.  
"You were well prepared to this," Ian said looking kind of upward while she was looking downwards.  
"I don't have all this stuff in my car...I should have."  
"Well, I've taken courses on survival. They were mainly during the summer though so is the first time I put this particular theory in practice…"  
"How come you took those courses?" Ian asked, curious.  
"Well, when I was a junior I had this phase I was extremely interested in stuff like this. And conspiracies. This is the reason why they call me Unabomber at school. Because they found out."  
"I'm sorry...But I'm very happy you took those courses."  
"Thanks."  
"Can I ask...Which conspiracies?"  
"You really wanna know?" Jo asked, her voice clearly sounding amused.  
"Yes," he answered.  
"It all began when I found this website, abovetopsecret..."  
And so she told him, still leaning close to him.

"We have to remember to eat and drink," Jo suddenly said pulling away slightly and finally releasing her hands from his, finding her way through the blankets, and taking a bag of peanuts. With her other hand she also took the cell phone from her jeans and texted a message. There was a beep almost instantly.  
"I gave sheriff McDuff an update. And he told me someone should be here within an hour."  
"Anyway...I'm good now. Thank you."  
Jo wrapped herself in two of the blankets, and Ian had the third one since he already had the jacket.  
They leaned to the backseat, facing each other.  
"So at home you always play with like...headphones?" Jo asked.  
"Yep."  
For a second she looked at him a bit strangely. She probably felt sorry for him. He didn't want that.  
"I have survived," he answered.  
"Of course...But if you want you can have my old amp if you want to it. I really don't have a use for it."  
"Thanks," Ian said.

"So why do you play guitar?" she asked.  
Ian was surprised she actually wanted to know something about him.  
"Well...Initially I guess I started playing because I wanted to show off. But for a long time it hasn't been about that... I just...love playing. And Cyberpriest is the first band I've ever played in. Sometimes I'm just scared I'll screw up somehow."  
Jo looked him straight in the eyes now.  
"Don't be. You're very good. And a quick learner. Sure, your playing is a bit raw but I hope in a way you never lose some of that...It's something I like about it, Ian."  
"Thanks."  
Ian suddenly felt a bit warm inside. Then he realized exactly why. She had called him Ian instead of Smith. Also, he felt like he needed to ask her the same in return.  
"So why do you play guitar?"  
"It's because of my Dad, I guess," she said.  
"He had, and still has, a recording studio. It's called the Anti Sound. So when I was a kid I saw him playing a guitar and there were all this musicians hanging out at our house. So I asked my Dad to teach me and he did."  
"I guess you already knew this but you're one hell of a guitarist...Jo."  
Looking at her, Ian could've sworn she blushed.  
"Thanks."  
Jo's phone beeped.  
"Sheriff is asking how we're doing. He says he has sent the cavalry."  
"I'm surviving just fine," Ian said.  
"Me too. I'll reply to him."  
Jo sent the message.  
"But we should try to do something. I remember that if we began to feel drowsy or sleepy that could be a bad thing."  
"Okay. What could we do then?"  
"Well…"  
She was just about to say something but then she obviously backed up.  
"What did you think about?" Ian asked.  
"Nothing."  
"Just say it."  
"I was just thinking that could we sing."  
"Sing?"  
He was genuinely surprised.  
"Just to pass the time, you know. But forget it."  
She closed her eyes but then she opened them, looking at him.  
"Don't you ever sing when you play guitar...When you're alone?"  
It was time to confess.  
"Yeah...I do."  
"Me too," Jo smiled.  
He looked at her and suddenly thought why not.  
The episode in the small orange car had already been surreal enough. Might as well reach even greater heights.  
"Can you suggest a song then," he found himself saying.  
"Sure. Something not too straining for the voice though...We also have to preserve our strength, you know, on the other hand."  
"So death metal is a no go."  
Jo chuckled.  
"Yeah. That's a no go. But what song could you remember?"  
One just popped into his head.  
"Master of the Wind. Manowar."  
"Yes. That's good. Can you begin...?"  
"Sure."

Ian took a breath.

" _In the silence...of the darkness…"_

He began from quite a low pitch since he didn't want to run into trouble later on. Of course he wished to consider that it wasn't too low for Jo.

" _When all are fast asleep…"  
_  
Jo now joined in.

vvv

Suddenly they heard voices in the distance. It had to be the help sheriff had sent.

Jo and Ian were sitting right next to each other, leaning back, looking at the ceiling of the Datsun, under the blankets.

"They're here," Jo said.

And so three hours and twenty minutes, ten songs, four chocolate bars and two peanut bags later - they were rescued.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Supposed to be funny fluff.**_

 **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**

-v-v-v-

 **CHAPTER TEN**

…

 _Tuesday, early December, Basement of Stein residence_

"It's been a month now, since you came here and smashed that guitar, right?"  
It was Erik and this was his first reference to the incident. Ian had expected frequent reminders.  
"Has it truly been a month?" René asked.  
"Well, time flies... And it would seem your probation ends then. You're officially part of the band and it's time for the ritual."  
"For what?"  
"The ritual. It's an important part of joining the band. Don't worry about it. It's fun. We'll do it this Friday at my place. My folks aren't home so we might as well meet there."

vvv

 _Friday 05:14 p.m._

"So you take the sugar cube and…"  
René was walking towards the faucet in the kitchen.  
"What did you do?"  
He was asking Erik.  
"Did we do something with the lighter?"  
They were at René's house. Ian got the feeling his family was possibly a wealthier one.  
"An amateur," Erik grunted.  
They sat around the living room table, on the floor and Erik showed how to properly do the absinthe ritual that was also the band initiation ceremony.

 _Friday 06:02 p.m._

"Is this what I think it is?" Ian asked examining a shelf in the living room.  
"Yeah, Commodore 64. My father's collects stuff like that. It still works. Want to play something?"  
"Hell yeah."

 _Friday 06:52 p.m._

"Let's watch a movie. A classic movie," René was coaxing the others.  
"Here we go again," Erik said.  
"C'mon, guys! There's the white cat, all the weird henchmen…. Admit it, you love them. So which one?"  
"What's he going on about?" Ian asked, on the sofa, more relaxed than ever.  
"René is a sucker for old Bond movies. Whenever we come here he forces us to watch one," Jo explained.

They agreed to watch "You Only Live Twice".

 _Friday 08:57 p.m._

"Wasn't that great," René said.  
"So, do you still want to watch something else…" Erik was going through a pile of DVDs on the table.

They watched Matrix.

 _Friday 11:10 p.m. -_ _Saturday around 11:15 a.m._

Miscellaneous events unfolded.

 _Saturday around 11:15 a.m._

In Ian's final dream that morning it all melted together. Like cheese.

First it was the game, a 2D side-scroller. He was the main character. They were running down long corridors, Jo, Erik and him. For some reason René wasn't there. The three were small pixelated characters wearing pixelated long black leather coats and sunglasses. In the game he was desperately trying to collect weapons but the inventory was never big enough. He always had to leave something behind. It felt like an endless task of optimization.

The dream continued, changing, no longer an old school game but a movie.  
"It's SCEPTRE!" Jo shouted, running past him towards...a pyramid. She looked like Trinity but with red long hair, an assault rifle in her other hand. In this dream they fought evil agents together, trying to reach different kinds of pyramids. The dream even escalated; a massive multi-headed dragon suddenly came out of a dark planet almost crossing paths with Earth. In the end Ian was flying next to it with a Ford Ka shooting the dragon with a cannon that was bolted on the roof of the tiny car.

Ian woke up covered in cold sweat. His mouth felt dry and he didn't dare to open his eyes, afraid how seeing light would affect him. He was trying to remember what had happened last night...

He definitely had experienced a close encounter with the deadwhite throne, that was for sure. He had emptied himself pretty much completely and...he was also kind of sure Jo had been there in the bathroom with him...holding his hair up. His gut reaction was mortification but then he remembered holding her red hair. So it was a tie. This particular trail of memories continued... Afterwards the two had been on the bathroom floor, resting their heads on the fluffy pink bathroom rug.

" _This rug is so soft."  
_ What insight. Then he recalled there was no need to scoff himself...  
" _Extremely soft,"_ Jo had replied. _  
_Her eyes had been closed and Ian had thought she looked like a content cat. Very cute.  
" _I try not to think René 's family have walked barefoot on this rug, possibly with sweaty feet,"_ Jo had laughed with a hoarse voice.  
" _No, Jo...I don't want to think about that."_  
" _Never said it then."  
_ She had opened her eyes and they had stared at each other.  
" _What are you thinking?" she asked.  
_ There had been no stopping him. _  
_" _That you should laugh more..._ _Like way more."_  
" _Why?"  
_ He had seen in her eyes that she kind of predicted the answer but just wished to hear it.  
Ian was going to give her exactly that.  
" _Because you have a nice laughter. I mean...it's...wonderful."  
_ Ian had thought she was now going to just pass the remark but she in turn had something to say.  
" _Look who's talking._ _The guy who hopes no one notices him... I've noticed that, you know. Ian the Ghost. That could be it...Or Shadow Man."  
_ _"Shadow Man...sounds actually cool. I want to be him."  
"Please don't."  
_Ian remembered closing his eyes, feeling a sudden overflow of emotions, but he couldn't remember more of the conversation.

It was time to return to the present. Only now Ian noted that he was most definitely on a bed which didn't exactly match his last recollection. He dared to open his eyes - luckily the blinds were shut - and turned his head. Jo was there sleeping right next to him, facing him. They were still in the same clothes as last night. This was probably a guest room or similar. But how...? Could she have moved him…? No, Ian thought. But still, he doubted that he had gotten there himself.

The question of transportation lifted another memory. An earlier one. He and Jo had been in the living room, sitting, leaning on the wall. René and Erik were already sleeping on the couches.

" _I've always wanted to do a monologue. Is it ok...if I do one now?"  
_ " _Sure._ _Tell me about how you broke your heart."_  
" _What? You can't ask...something like that."  
_ " _I can. Please begin... Who was she?"  
_ " _Casey."_

She had gotten this out of him so easily. Damn she was good.

" _Ian, that's not...a_ _monologue. Try again."_

 _"Okay...So Casey… Yes... She's the one who broke my heart and she did not only break it; she actually took it out of me, shredded it into pieces and...jumped on it before finally setting it on fire. But even that doesn't cover it fully... She then took the ashes and vaporized them. Wearing a lab coat. Really. So I actually no longer have a heart. BUT, let me share you something I realized not long ago. It was only a projection of Casey I loved. She was not real. Should I go on?"_

He noticed Jo was staring into nothingness.  
 _  
"That was interesting and I'd like to know so much more but_ _I'm actually feeling kind sick a_ _nd I honestly don't think I can get to the bathroom fast enough."  
_ " _Can I carry you?"  
_ The question had come so quickly it was as if he had been waiting to ask it. Jo had looked stunned.  
" _But...What if I throw up on you?"  
_ " _I'll risk it. If you do, we'll never talk about it."  
_ " _Okay. Hurry then."_

In a burst of heroism Ian had knelt next to Jo and scooped her up. He was thinking very much of Manowar and muscles and wind blowing in his hair. The reality might have been less impressive but he did manage to carry Jo to the closest bathroom, consequently feeling quite sick himself too. He landed her down and fell on the floor next to her closing his eyes.

" _Thanks."  
_ " _You're welcome."_

Then he heard how she crawled to meet the deadwhite throne.

And now... Ian just lay there looking at her sleeping, until he himself fell asleep again.

vvv

Jo dreamed.

She was in her room about to go to sleep but found it difficult to do that; she just tossed and turned. It was then she noticed a guitar, a red BC Rich Warlock on the floor. She picked it up and lifted it next to her in the bed and she was going to give it goodnight's kiss. But as her lips touched the headstock, in a split second, the guitar turned into Ian so she was now kissing him, and he was kissing her back. When the kiss ended they just stared at each other, and then, they kissed again, and to this second kiss she woke up.

And now she was staring at Ian, in real life. She thought of the dream again, her eyes wandering to look at this real life lips. It had all happened so quickly. She was happy he was sleeping so she could get over this. Because she had promised herself she wouldn't get involved with a bandmate. Ever. Again. The relationship with René had been risky enough and could've led to the end of Cyberpriest. And she most definitely didn't want that.

But she couldn't help thinking about the previous night. Ian had carried her to the bathroom. When he had picked her up she had been scared he'd either drop her or they'd run into a wall but to be honest in the end she had enjoyed the ride.

Then, she remembered holding his hair up while he threw up. The whole ordeal should have been odd and awkward but it had been just the way she seemed to feel with him now - at ease. Also, there had been some conversation on the bathroom floor... She did remember how it had made her feel really warm and fuzzy inside.

Now, as she was looking at the face of her slumbering bandmate, she noted she actually found him very attractive and forced herself to repeat a certain thought. This was not the way to think about Ian Smith.

Not the way at all.

vvv


	11. Chapter 11

**_I listened piano version of "We Had Today" from the movie "One Day" and wrote this chapter.  
_** **  
-v- Omen Mortis -v-**

-v-v-v-

 **CHAPTER ELEVEN**

…

It was the week before Christmas and Ian's parents were leaving for a 20th wedding anniversary cruise to the Pacific. They had asked Ian to come along but he had made it perfectly clear there was no way he was going to their 20th anniversary cruise. And it was not just the anniversary thing - he had been on one of their cruises once and it was a painful mix of all you can eat buffets, karaoke and boredom.

Besides, all the members of Cyberpriest would remain in Rock Falls during the holidays, maintaining their regular practicing routine.

vvv

Two days before Christmas they were having a coffee break in Grandma Stein's kitchen. She always encouraged this, clearly enjoying the company of his grandson's band, listening to their stories. This time they began talking about their holiday plans.

"Folks and sis are going to Aspen but I'm not. Because Aspen is like... _Aspen_ ," René rolled his eyes taking a sip of his coffee.  
"Besides, we're practicing," he added.  
"What about you?" Grandma Stein asked Ian and he told of his parents' anniversary cruise.  
"I see," she commented.  
Then she also asked Jo and she told that Russ was visiting his old friend. Ian couldn't help noticing she looked a bit down when saying this and Grandma Stein didn't inquire more.  
"So let me get this clear," she said.  
"Are all of you staying alone in your houses during Christmas?"  
The three shrugged.  
Grandma Stein shook her head.  
"That just won't do. You're all coming here."  
Then she stood up and walked to the counter to make more coffee. The three were obviously too stunned to say anything.  
"Great. That's settled then," she then said turning around, smiling.  
"Don't look so shocked. It's a big house. You fit here."  
They all were stlll quiet, not knowing how to react.  
"You might as well come," Erik said, behind his coffee cup.  
"We could have longer rehearsals," René said in a thougthful voice, nodding a few times, and finally Ian and Jo also made some gesture of approval.

vvv

On the afternoon of Christmas Eve Ian drove to the Stein house. Jo's Datsun was already there. He stood outside, next to the Ka, for a moment. It was a nice, cloudy, wintery day.

Standing there, Ian felt relief this could probably not turn into a cheesy caricature of Christmas with singing carrols, decorating the tree and eating turkey while they all had fake smiles. He was still slightly afraid it could become somehow artificial. But still, a part of him was kind of happy he didn't have to be alone, and that if he was with someone, it was these people.

Ian walked in with his backpack. There was a pleasant smell of food when he walked to the kitchen. Grandma Stein was cooking and greeted him.  
"They're downstairs already," she said.  
It was just like always and they had normal rehearsals, like any other day.  
At some point Grandma Stein called them upstairs to eat. This was actually not unheard of, since she made them food occasionallty. Ian actually found it nice and laid-back that no one was in a hurry to get anywhere. Soon they returned back to the basement.

vvv

Later in the night they watched movies again. The last one was "On Her Majesty's Secret Service", a Bond movie which René had brought  
"Yep, it's a downer. A cool one, still," René commented afterwards.  
At this point they deciced to call it a night.  
Ian was just about to go upstairs, where their rooms were, when he heard Jo calling his name. She approached him digging something from her jeans pocket.  
"Hey, merry Christmas," she said handing something.  
It was a pick. A red pick.  
He looked at it on his palm and understood... It was the same shade as the BC Rich Warlock.  
"It's just to remind you...that one day you should have a matching guitar."  
He found himself a bit confused.  
"Thanks," he got out of himself.  
Now he felt sorry he didn't have anything for her.  
"Anyway...I should go to sleep now," Jo said, heading upstairs before he had time to say anything.

vvv

The walls were kind of thin. Ian couldn't help hearing a conversation from the room René was in. Apparently Jo was there too. He didn't wish to eavesdrop but there seemed to be no way of avoiding it now.

"I'm lonely...I miss you Jo..."  
"That's the dozen eggnots talking."  
Ian heard them both burst into laughter.  
Then René began to speak again.  
"Yeah...Hey, I heard Erik has set his eyes on the redhead teaching computer studies...You know, the substitute."  
"You mean Ms...Don't remember her last name...But she's Gwen, right?"  
"Yep, she's the one... Having break from college apparently."  
René cleared his throat.  
"But speaking of people setting their eyes on someone...Would yours happen to be on…a certain blond guitarist?"  
There was a silence.  
Ian felt his heart stop having heard the question.  
"Where did you get that idea?"  
Some silence.  
"René...I'm not..."  
Silence.  
Ian felt his heart was beating quite painfully as the silence continued.  
Then he heard René's voice again.  
"Sorry...You know me and my big mouth."  
"I actually do," Jo chuckled.  
This seemed to release whatever tension there was.  
"Good night jackass."  
Jo's voice had sounded quite normal.  
"Good night angel."  
Ian heard the door open and close.

Ian wasn't sure what had happened, and most importantly was she interested in him or not. But now he was kind of freaked out by was his own reaction...Because he had so wanted her to reply 'yes'. Thinking about this he had a gut feeling he wasn't going to get any sleep that night...

vvv

It had to be around two a.m. No sleep yet. Just Jo on his mind.

On the other side of Ian's room was the bathroom. The wall on that side was kind of thin too. Ian was lying awake in his bed when he heard the bathroom door open and close. Then...he heard sobbing and understood...It was Jo. She was there for quite some time and Ian sat up on his bed. Then the door was opened and closed again. She went back to her room. Ian put on his jeans and t-shirt and walked barefoot to the corridor.  
Soon he was right at the other end, behind her door. Ian was probably way too tired to consider this thoroughly. So before he knew he had knocked.  
"Jo, can I come in?" he said quietly.  
He could hear Jo's surprised voice giving him permission.  
She was sitting on the bed, wearing a huge worn black Metallica t-shirt and striped pyjama pants. Looking at her Ian saw she was so tired, her eyes still red from the crying.  
"Is everything ok?" he asked.  
Jo shook her head. She was past pretending anything.  
"I got a message from sheriff McDuff...About Dad...He just did what he always does this time of the year... But he should be out tomorrow."  
Ian looked at her confused and Jo returned his look in disbelief.  
"You...didn't know. I thought everyone in this town knew."  
Ian shook his head.  
"Well... I don't want..."  
Her head fell down. Ian was waiting her to finish her sentence.  
"You to feel pity or anything like that."  
"I'd never pity you."  
Jo nodded and faced him again.  
"Okay then... It's time you know too... My Dad's an alcoholic, the town drunk, and as as we speak he's held in the drunk tank."  
So many things made sense. He should have known.  
"Jo... I'm sorry."  
He honestly didn't know what else to say.  
"It's okay. It's hard to blame him… This just became his way of coping with...life and everything after..."  
Jo sighed.  
"After what?" Ian dared to ask.  
"After...Mom left. Yeah... But really, I really don't want to do this to you... You don't need to hear about this."  
She was frowning.  
"What if I'd want to. After all, you listened to me talk about Casey."  
Suddenly Jo's lips curled into a smallest smile. She remembered.  
"I'm actually still waiting to hear the rest of that...You were only just getting started."  
"Okay...I'll tell you about Casey and you tell me about your Dad and all that."  
She looked at him, weighing something, and then nodded.

And so they sat on the floor, leaning to the bed.

"Where should I begin?" Ian asked feeling baffled.  
"I only remember she did nasty things to your heart..." Jo obviously tried to help him, sounding sincere.  
"Right. I might have exaggerated...Just a bit."

And so Ian told her about Casey - just the way it had actually happened. Jo listened, looking at him constantly with her blue eyes, clearly reliving the story with him. Yes, it was a very typical case of high school first love - people who placed too many expectations on each other...And then Ian had moved and the two had succeeded keeping their relationship alive for a few months...Until the message came. She had found another. While telling Jo all this, Ian had a revelation; it all felt more distant than ever - he hadn't even understood how this wound had already been healing.

Then it was Jo's turn to share her story; how her mother had left when she was very young having become involved in a cult. They never heard of her again and Russ, her father, never truly recovered... Jo told how they moved to Rock Falls to start all over again but it hadn't really worked out... But finally, she reached the part where Cyberpriest was formed. Ian couldn't suddenly help thinking just how beautiful she looked when describing these happier moments.  
"And so here we are...," Jo concluded her story.  
"It's kind of strange to hear one's life this told this way."  
Ian noticed the implication she had possible never told anyone, in this way. But then looking at Jo who was in her thoughts, he noticed some unpleasant thought obviously passed through her mind and she turned to look out of the window.

It was snowing.

"What is it?" Ian asked.

First there was silence. Snowflakes kept falling.

"Sometimes..." Jo began, still looking away.

"I'm just...so tired of it."

Her voice had been very sad which just made Ian's heart ache. A bit unsure he reached and put his hand on her shoulder. The touch was very light. He just wanted to let her know he was there for her.

She turned her head and looked him straight in the eyes. Ian now tried to say everything he could't put into words just by looking at her... She just kept looking at him right back and suddenly he knew. That it was perfectly okay to put his arms around her and hold her. He just hoped he hadn't imagined this, as he scooted closer and actually did it. But to his relief Jo didn't stop him. Instead she leaned against him, holding him tight.

vvv


	12. Chapter 12

_**A lot of fluffy music was required for creating this chapter.**_

 **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**

-v-v-v-

 **CHAPTER TWELVE**

 _..._

 _.._

 _._

For a moment it all melted away.

The worry. The anxiety. The pain.

And all that was left was…

Serenity.

Jo kept holding onto Ian, feeling his arms around her. He felt so warm and soft and she realized she actually wanted to nuzzle her face into his hair.

Ridiculous! A part of her just had to voice this inside her head. Of course reason had to take over.

Still, she allowed herself to remain there one more moment.

And one more.

They were kind of frozen there, holding each other, leaning on the bed, when Jo came to realize - or feel - that Ian was crying. Or trying not to. He was trying to say something too.

"Sorry."

He had gotten the word out barely. It was more a croak.

Jo was thinking, trying to find the right words. Whatever was going on, she didn't want to leave him alone with his feelings.

"Ian, it's okay… You don't have to… hold back."

To make this clear, she held him tighter.

And she felt how Ian began to truly cry, obviously no longer holding himself back.

"Fuck... I'm… such… an emo," Ian managed to say between the sobs.

Again, Jo thought hard what to say.

Suddenly it was obvious.

"What's wrong with emos?"

vvv

It just had come over Ian so suddenly he couldn't help it.

He had thought how the past weeks had been the best of his… life, probably. And the thought combined with holding Jo had simply been too much. And now his reaction was... beyond humiliating. It was he who was supposed to comfort her, not the other way around! What an epic fail. What an idiot emo he was.

And now he had actually muttered something in these lines just out loud.  
It was hazy but he had.

"What's wrong with emos?" she asked, sincerely.

This made him smile while crying…. Jo just kept giving him this affirmation and it was like a positive overload in his brain.

"Really, Ian... I have a feeling what you're thinking. That I'm somehow judging you, going to hold this against you. But I'm not. You gave me your support and I don't exactly know what's going on now but if you want to tell me, I'm here."

Here it was. His chance to explain. But what exactly, he wasn't sure.

Still, he pulled back from the embrace, keeping his eyes shut. Even to his own surprise the words began pouring out of him, his voice a bit raspy.

"For some time now…"

He had to take a breath.

"And this began before I came to Rock Falls... I've felt like I've become this… empty shell. Like I'm just something my parents pack up when they move. And I think my Mom's depressed but she doesn't talk about it and my father is never at home, and even when he is, he's in his own world... And I just fear all the time that any moment we're going to move again and so… I resigned myself from everything...and everyone."

His eyes were still shut tight but now he decided to open them. He didn't dare to look at Jo though. Instead, he focused on the wooden floor. He heard that Jo kind of made a quiet sound, like a short hum.

There were still things he wanted to say.

"You wanna know why I went to talk to René that day, after Halloween? It was because when I heard you guys play you reminded me there's more to life… That I could be more than that empty shell. And now I feel I'm living this dream. It's been...I mean, I guess I'm just scared it's going to end."

And with the final words, he burst into tears again, closing his eyes.

"Come here."

He didn't actually have to go anywhere but he almost instantly felt how Jo put her arms around him.

vvv

Ian was no longer crying and they had broken away from the embrace, sitting right next to each other… Jo couldn't help thinking that there were a few ways things could go now. And even if the thought stung her, and it was possibly the last thing in the world she wanted to do, she knew she had to do it... She could simply not repeat her mistake.

"Ian, there's something you should know…"

Suddenly she felt more than nervous and couldn't entirely hide it in her voice.

"I'm telling you this since I guess we're going to spend a lot of time together. I mean, I hope we do. Because I'm hoping you stick around, with Cyberpriest."

She could feel how Ian glanced at her kind of puzzled.

"I want that too...Of course. So what is it that you wanted to tell me?"

Jo noticed his voice was no longer hoarse of crying. She gathered her strength and forced the words out of her mouth.

"I've promised myself I won't date a bandmate again... I guess you know about René and I?"

They both stared straight ahead.

"Yeah… You guys were together."

Ian's voice was perfectly neutral.

"Right... We broke up...last Christmas. But it wasn't anything like in that 80s' song... But still, it was a close call. Almost the end of Cyberpriest. We were lucky it wasn't."

What she had just said left Ian kind of confused. Also, he felt somehow torn after all the closeness they had just experienced but understood her reasoning.

"Okay..." was all he could say.

They were still staring straight ahead. Jo broke the silence, still sounding nervous.

"You know… I know we're not… I'm not assuming you're even…"

Then, she seemed to gather herself.

"This is just a precautionary measure... I have so much invested here."

Ian nodded.

"Of course. I understand."

Jo cleared her throat, finally looking at him.

"Anyway, do you want to go finish the Charvel tomorrow? We could go to the garage after..."

Then she froze mid-sentence.

"What is it?"

Jo swallowed.

"After I take my Dad back home."

Seeing her expression Ian just suddenly wanted to catch her back in his arms again but it didn't feel appropriate now.

"I could come along if you want," he suggested instead.

"Thanks," Jo said, looking him in the eyes. He saw he had somehow surprised her.

"I'll think go by myself. But thanks. Really."

"No problem...And about the Charvel, it'd be great if we could finish it tomorrow."

"Great."

"Good night then."

Soon he had left the room.

vvv

After Ian left, Jo dug out her MiniDisc player from her backpack. All the other kids had iPods but the player was something she had found among Russ' stuff and asked if she could have it. It was easy enough to record with and also she enjoyed the tangibility of the small colorful discs. She searched for a particular one, a compilation she had made. Finally she put it in the player and began looking for a particular song. It was by a band she didn't exactly advertise listening to, Nightwish. Actually, she had never told even René about it because she feared he would've just made some smartass comment about it being too romantic.

The song, "Ever Dream", was melodic, symphonic metal, emphasis on the keyboards, with a dreamy and haunting feel, the lead singers' voice being strong and ethereal. It embodied something she couldn't help but wishing now; being able to escape with Ian to some higher place, some sweet oblivion, where there would be no complicated band relationships or possible disputes to consider.

vvv

 _Three weeks later_

"We're going to have gig. Like a real gig. It's at Hades Club. My cousin works there so he'll get us in. We can't stay for the rest of the evening though so he doesn't get into trouble so we'll just play the set and leave. But it's still a real gig."

"Cool."

"But there is one thing though you should know."

"What is it?" Jo asked.

"Blasphemer are playing there too, before us."

Suddenly Erik was swearing to himself and Jo sighed.

"Who are Blasphemer?" Ian asked.

"It's a band that we've previously had some...trouble with,"

"But the other members, Lord Obskurius, Satanakhia and Koprologist are ok, aren't they?"

"Sure...But Rob, the vocalist, who calls himself Tyrant... When he was still a guitarist, he was on trial for Cyberpriest - much like you were - but it just didn't work out. He wasn't good. At all. So he still holds a grudge and claims I stole some song ideas from him and that is just one blatant lie," René said holding his hands up dramatically.

"So expect a fight," Erik said.

"Again," Jo added.


	13. Chapter 13

**_I might improve this later... Might._**

 **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**

-v-v-v-

 **CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

…

They had finished the Charvel, during the Christmas day, attaching the neck. The following week Jo had taught Ian how to solder and they had changed the mics. The week after that they fixed the paint job. The Charvel sounded now better than ever, and looked the best it had ever in Ian's possession.

Ian liked to think they were brothers in arms - him and Jo - guitars being the arms. Siblings would of course have been the correct term but it just didn't have the same ring to it. Still, sometimes before going to sleep, he would return to the memory of Jo holding him, and for a second he would ask himself could she, somehow, reconsider… her principle of never dating a bandmate again. But then he started feeling all insecure and forced himself to get past these thoughts. And mostly he succeeded.

The gig wouldn't be until the end of February so they had plenty of time to prepare. But even just thinking about it made Ian's heartbeat accelerate.

vvv

The night of the gig Jo's Datsun was busted so Ian risked driving the Ka to the city as Erik's car was full of band gear.

René's cousin had asked them to remain backstage so they missed Blasphemer playing before them. When it was finally their turn the atmosphere was pretty much dead. The bartender actually asked them to tone the volume down since people were more interested in drinking than in them. But they didn't care. Ian thought that everyone has to begin somewhere - and he loved every minute on that stage.

vvv

They exited the back door to the loading area in the small inner courtyard. Another band was there just finishing packing up their gear. Ian realized this had to be Blasphemer. A sturdy bearded guy took notice of them, walking a few steps towards René and grinned.

"Well... I can't believe you actually got out of that place. What was it called...Shit Falls? Don't remember anymore."  
This had to be Tyrant.  
"Is that the best you can do? Shit Falls? The creativity. Just like in your songs."  
René was definitely aiming to hit the particular nerve.  
"Well, they're still way better than your songs considering you can't actually make any. Instead, you steal them."

"How long did that take?" Jo asked, saying this quietly to Ian and Erik.  
"Twenty...thirty seconds?" Erik replied.  
Then Tyrant now noticed them.  
"Sweet Jo. I was happy to hear you broke up with this dickhead. You know, I'm always up for it anytime, with you."  
"Sure you are. Keep on dreaming," Jo said.  
"And this is your new guitarist..." Tyrant said ignoring her comment and nodding at Ian, then looking at Jo again.  
"I see… So how does it feel to be the band trophy award, Jo?"

Within the next five seconds following things happened. Tyrant, Ian, Jo and René were engaged in a fight and were immediately joined by Erik and the rest of Blasphemer. Lord Obskurius, Satanakhia and Koprologist didn't seem that eager to fight but there was obviously band loyalty to be considered. Altogether it was chaos.

Suddenly Ian noticed that Tyrant was about to hit Jo who had temporarily lost her balance. Without thinking too much about he rushed into that direction. The next moment was a blackout combined with blinding pain followed an overall sensation of asphalt.

"Do we have a problem here?"

The booming voice belonged to Mr. O, the bouncer.

Everyone stopped abruptly - withdrawing from the fight. Erik helped Ian up.

No one wanted to mess with Mr. O.

"No. No problem," René replied.  
"No problem at all," Tyrant added, straightening his shirt.

"Good. I'd like to see you all leave. As soon as possible."  
Mr. O kept standing there, keeping watch, as the two bands went to their vehicles, still staring daggers at each other. Blasphemer's van screeched away within seconds.

Cyberpriest loaded the rest of the stuff to Erik's car, as fast as they could, still suffering from the pains and aches of the fight.  
"Okay...I'm going to my cousin's place. You can crash there too of you want," René said to the others, exhausted, as they were finished.  
Erik took up on the offer.  
Jo shook her head.  
"I'm going home."  
"I'd like to get back home too," Ian said holding his head.  
"Jo, are you in good enough shape to drive? Because he isn't," Erik stated looking at Ian.  
He had sounded protective. He sometimes seemed to treat them like smaller siblings.  
"I am," Jo said confidently.  
"Good."  
In a few moments Erik and René had left.  
"Let me see it," Jo said inspecting Ian's face.  
He couldn't conceal that half of his face was throbbing with pain.  
"Do you have a first aid pack? With instant ice?" Jo asked, wincing.  
"Yeah. Got one after our last car trip."  
"It's probably too late for the ice… But let's go."  
Ian thought the street level wasn't entirely stable as they began to walk towards the main street where the Ka was parked.  
"Are you okay?" Jo asked worried.  
"Just a little...dizzy."  
Without saying a word Jo put her arm around him, helping him walk the rest of the way. At the car Jo made him lean against it while she opened the door and put the front seat down. Then she helped him to the back.  
"It's in the trunk, right? The first aid kit."  
Ian nodded, leaning back and closing his eyes. For a brief second he felt nauseous but then he concentrated on the sound of the rain tapping on the back window. He felt only tired now. In no time Jo crammed herself next to him to the backseat. He heard her crack the ice bag and felt the coolness as she pressed it to his face.  
"You know, there was no need - I'm not some damsel in distress. I was no way near getting my ass handed to me."  
Jo's voice had been angry - she had clearly held herself back till this moment. She continued agitated.  
"Why did you have to get in the way? I fight my own fights. I would have handled it."  
"It's just that…" Ian began.  
"Just what…?"  
"I didn't want to see you hurt... And I'd like to fight those fights with you... By your side."

Ian guessed this had probably been too much. He blamed the adrenaline. She'd turn him down now some way, and as he was waiting for the inevitable, he kept his eyes closed, listening to the rain.

He was stunned when he suddenly felt something, which he instantly realized being Jo's lips, on his, giving a featherlight kiss. He reciprocated the kiss equally lightly, now wishing it would never end.

But it did and now he opened his eyes. Jo's was right there, so close.

"We should probably think about this," she said, her eyes looking down.

"Sure, of course."

But then she raised her eyes to meet his and there was something about that moment. They were both suddenly unable to suppress their smiles. Ian noticed his heart was beating quite madly but any pain he had been feeling seemed to have dissipated.

He had a feeling what was coming, and he welcomed it.


	14. Chapter 14

_**And the story continues...**_

 **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**

-v-v-v-

 **CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

…

The kiss that followed was... indescribable.

" _Ian?"_

Jo's voice cut like a knife through Ian's consciousness and the very second his eyes opened, he realized there was no kiss. There had never been a kiss. And somehow that hurt even more than the actual pain he was feeling... Jo had apparently just returned inside the car and was holding an ice pack in her hand. He had dozed off within minutes.

"That's not good. You being drowsy like that..." Jo said shaking her head and breaking the ice bag, placing it on his face.  
"Are you feeling sick?" she asked.  
For a moment Ian thought about it.  
"Not really... Just tired."  
"Okay... We just have to keep you awake. Loud music, coffee, whatever it takes."

They visited a drug store, got some painkillers and then parked outside an all-night café. They decided to eat and rest before beginning their way back home and it didn't take long till they were drinking coffee and eating their sandwiches in a quiet corner. Ian hadn't even fully realized how hungry he was, apparently Jo neither.

In the car Ian had needed a moment to recalibrate himself and his take on reality - but he felt the recalibration was still not complete... He couldn't help but staring at Jo when she was wolfing down her cheese sandwich.

"Do I have something on my face?" she asked.

"No."

They were in no hurry so they kept sitting at that corner table, soon having the most random conversations. They were finishing their third round of coffee when Jo suddenly looked thoughtful. A song had started playing on the radio. Ian knew it was from the eighties, "Take on Me" was obviously its name, but he couldn't remember the name of the band though.

"I've never known what to think about this song... but the video is cool," Jo said.

Ian remembered it now. It was part animation, part live-action. Probably kind of advanced in its own time.

"Yeah... It's trippy."

They listened to the song in silence. Jo began to tap the synth beat with her fingers on the table. There was something she clearly wanted to say. Ian had noticed she had had that look on her face a few times during that night already but now he knew she was going to say it.

"You know... I need to thank you. If it hadn't been your face, it would've been mine. I mean... You probably didn't even notice but Tyrant was about to hit me."

Ian looked at her. Honestly - she had no clue?

"I'm _glad_ it wasn't your face."

He made sure the tone of his voice left no doubt - his encounter with Tyrant's fist hadn't been a coincidence. Jo's face suddenly flushed.

"No..."

She shook her head, looking down.

"I wish you hadn't done that."

He just knew she'd say something like that, getting a flashback to the dream.

"I didn't want to see you hurt," he said, searching for her eyes.

Jo averted his look, shaking her heard again. Ian knew he had to say something.

"I don't regret it. At all."

Finally she raised her eyes.

"I don't want..." she began.

"You to do things like that to yourself... I can't take it."

Her words made Ian want to lay all his feelings out in the open. How he thought it didn't make sense, her resolution not to get involved with a bandmate, and how he thought the two of them made sense - she had to feel it too.

The hell with it.

"Jo, I don't know how to exactly say this but you're like…"

Okay. He hadn't thought it through.

"I mean, when I'm with you, it's..."

He soon realized the words were not going to come out in his current state so he moved his hand on the table and touched Jo's, just slightly.

She stared at their hands. Ian was relieved she didn't pull hers away. He knew there was a question that had to be asked now... or possibly never.

"Is there any way you could reconsider your promise to yourself?"

Jo kept staring at their hands, that were still touching. Ian felt his heart was now in his throat as the silence continued. Those few seconds felt eternally long.

Finally she spoke.

"I don't think I've ever had what I have with you, Ian… And I've been up eighteen hours straight soon so this is going to sound like … "

She sighed frustrated.

"I mean, I didn't think… And what you just asked is…"

Then she completely surprised him by lacing her fingers with his.

"Yes, I will... reconsider."

Not letting go of her hand, without thinking about it too much, Ian moved so that he was soon on the same side of the table with her.

And he thought it was funny, how reality and dream seemed to switch places - the dream kiss in the car had felt so real but being next to Jo felt like a dream now.

vvv

Jo wasn't sure how to describe it. Perhaps it was like hitting all the right notes in the most difficult solo. Or hearing the guitar when it finally had the perfect mics, playing that first note.

When Ian Smith kissed her, that's what it was like.


	15. Chapter 15

**_All aboard the pain train?_**

 **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**

 **-v-v-v-**

 **CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

 _One week later_

"Just tell me what happened."

The sheriff was sitting behind his desk.

"What happened?" Ian echoed, his voice lacking all emotion.

He felt blank. Probably looked that too. So many things had happened but there was no question what the officer was referring to.

"Did you see René Newman tonight?"

"Yes... I did."

Ian had a hard time forming even that short answer.

"Where?"

Ian cleared his throat.

"At Erik Stein's house."

He could see the sheriff was expecting him to continue.

"We were practicing. We have a band. And René arrived late… We didn't know… about what had happened at school and all that."

They had only later found out the principal had told René he wasn't going to graduate that spring, missing some critical courses.

"What happened then?" the sheriff asked.

Ian flashed back to the basement. He and Jo had asked Eric to try out parts of a new song the two of them had been working on. It hadn't even been serious but more for laughs. While playing they hadn't noticed how René had descended the stairs.

" _What was that?"_ he had snapped at them loudly.

It didn't take much time for Jo to answer.

" _It's something Ian and I've been working on."_

René had just stared at them. First Jo, then Ian.  
Then he shook his head.

" _Absolutely no. This band is not doing any... fucking fluff metal. Ever."_

" _Hey_ , _how difficult is it to show even a little respect?"  
_  
" _It is difficult. When you suck that bad."_

If the atmosphere had been toxic, that moment it had turned into suffocating.

" _There's no need...,"_ Ian had began but Jo cut him off, clearly emotional.

" _Wait._ _Perhaps it wasn't the best thing ever. And we actually weren't even that serious. But this just proved something. Again. That you have zero respect for us. When it comes to creating songs I always feel I have to manipulate you, just to get even the smallest thing through, and so that you won't explode all over the place."_

"After that he left," Ian finished his story, having described the events.

However, he had left René's final words out.

" _So this is what it's going to be like now? Well, fuck you too."_

vvv


	16. Chapter 16

_**The audio of angst, Rachel Portman: 'We All Complete"  
\- Never Let Me Go soundtrack.  
**_

 **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**

-v-v-v-

 **CHAPTER SIXTEEN  
**

…

 _Three hours earlier_

René sat behind the wheel in his father's SUV, parked outside the Stein house. A part of him already wanted to return to the basement.

That week… When he had first seen them at school - Ian hanging out at Jo's locker - he had immediately realized, felt that shift. Sure, it was bound to happen, but still, just looking at them made him feel... It was more envy than jealousy, he understood now. It was just that... he had seen something he and Jo had never shared and probably never even could have. There was this open expression on her face when she looked at Ian, talked to him, smiled at him. And she looked more beautiful than ever René had thought. And the minute he had walked to them, it was gone, she had hidden it from him.

So before René knew it he was already driving away... It was early March, surprisingly warm, not much snow on the ground. The sun was setting when he arrived at the Ledge. It was a Tuesday, but he still thought some kids might hang out there, so he was surprised to have the place all to himself. The Ledge was one of the best sightseeing spots at Rock Falls, named after a rock formation - a small ledge extending over the rapids. René took a bottle from his backpack, realizing he shouldn't drink much or otherwise he couldn't get back home… He still took the bottle of beer he had, walked on the edge of the cliff and sat, staring into the sunset.

The sun was behind the forest now… He had kept replaying the events of that day...

Who cared if he graduated one year later. Besides, Ian would still be at the school too. He was not only a bandmate but his friend now, he knew this. And Cyberpriest could still happen, they'd have to wait for Ian and him to graduate... And maybe then they all could set out to the Bay Area.

And that song they had been playing... It hadn't even been that bad. René's mind drifted to another mellow song, a borderline ballad, he had composed to Jo but had never had the guts to show to her... So what was he to say? Perhaps falling in love had the right to mess up people's minds.

Fuck it. He'd go back and set it all straight.

As René stood up and was about to turn, he didn't notice how slippery the rock was.

His foot slipped.

...

..

.

..

...

"I'm sorry for your friend."

Sheriff McDuff had now told all the details.

Apparently there was no crime. A jogger had found René's body, washed ashore a few miles downstream. His car had been found at the Ledge. There was a head trauma and sheriff said there was all the reason to believe it had been an accident. There was a dark undertone there - something everyone was obviously thinking.

"I'm contacting the counselor at your school. I suggest you all go see her."

No one reacted. No one moved. They just sat in their chairs in that small lobby of the police station; Jo and her father Russ, Ian and his parents, Erik and Grandma Stein. It turned out the three of them, in that basement, had been the last people to see him alive.

This wasn't real, Ian thought.

"Thank you Sheriff... Ian, I think we should go."

The words of Ian's mother, empathetic yet demanding, dragged him back.

This is real.

Ian didn't move. Instead he looked at Jo, sitting in a chair on the opposite side of the lobby. He wanted to call her name but even that short syllable got stuck in his throat. He just saw she wasn't there. He couldn't reach her. Not now.

Afterwards, he didn't remember much more of that night.

vvv


	17. Chapter 17

_**Down the memory lane... But whose? And how many lanes? :)  
**_

 **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**

-v-v-v-

 **CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

…

 _Two and half years ago_

...

They were in the fallout shelter.

Erik was impressed someone had taken the Cold War seriously when the school had been built. It wouldn't have been mere 'duck and cover' at Rock Falls High.

He was sitting behind the drum set and this was the first gathering of the band club. There were three likeminded students and Mr. Hawkes, the Science teacher, who was in charge of the club that semester. He was one of the younger teachers, almost cool, still under thirty. Without his signature wool blazer he looked like a credible band club leader in his t-shirt and jeans.

"Basically you can play whatever you want but I'm here if you want to ask something. About technique, maintenance of the instruments… whatever."

Erik had jammed with Jo and Karl but this was different.

The beginning of high school hadn't been easy for him. He didn't like changes, but this was a transitory stage, these first weeks, he knew that too. Still, most kids had this desperate need to bond with each other and one easily got dragged into this mindset.

Erik basically had two friends. There was Karl, the nephew older than him, and then of course… Jo. The two had become friends soon after she moved to Rock Falls - Jo appeared in his class sometime during the 6th grade and by 7th grade Erik had developed a crush on her. He even made this project in woodworking class, a wooden cube - it could've been a large key fob - he planned to give her. He even carved hearts on each side of it. But then, having finished the cube, he had understood that Jo wasn't really the girl for him, nor he was the guy for her. So he never gave the cube and they continued being friends - jamming in the basement, shooting beer cans with a BB gun and driving around the town. When Erik thought about the actual girl of his dreams, he came to the conclusion that if it wasn't Jo, she'd have to be one strong and completely over the top girl… No. _Woman_.

...

A guy had appeared in the doorway of the shelter. He was medium-height, more on the lanky side. The hair was shoulder length, black and wavy, and his general appearance signalled metal.

"René Newman. Heard there's a club I could join."

Erik noted that unlike most freshmen his voice or body language didn't reflect insecurity. In fact, he seemed to check everyone and everything out with an avid look in his eyes.

"You've come to the right place," Mr. Hawkes replied.

"I'd like to take on the bass," the guy said almost anxiously.

"Okay."

Mr. Hawkes looked at the five now.

"Any song suggestions?"

"Judas Priest. Painkiller," René answered before anyone else had the chance.

No one objected.

After the session René approached Erik.

"You're good," he said staring at him.

The pitch of his voice had been just a little high, like he was nervous - Erik thought he was an insecure teenager after all.

During the following weeks Erik came to the conclusion that sure, René was a spoiled rich kid, but his love for metal, and especially thrash metal, was real. He also couldn't deny that the guy stood out in the apathetic teenage mass, being passionate even at the risk of being considered a weirdo. But what surprised himself the most was that René became his third friend.

vvv

They were hanging out at the Ledge - Erik, René and Jo - on an October evening.  
It was now decided; the three of them would start a band.

"I just want the word 'priest' there… somehow," René said looking into the distance.

"Tell me again, what's wrong with Goatpriest?"

"You and the goats…" Jo rolled her eyes, giving a laugh.

"I'd want the name to be surprising. Even weird. Kind of opposites attract thing," René stated.

Erik didn't miss how René had glanced at Jo. The bassist and the guitarist in this new band weren't exactly opposites but there was definitely the attraction.

"Like you wanna mix priests with conspiracies and aliens and cyberpunk or something like that?" Jo asked looking at René.

"Yes. Cyber… priests... Cyberpriest. That's it."

He smiled, looking at Jo with that fire in his eyes.

...

 _...  
_

 _..._

It hadn't been said out loud yet but Erik knew - he guessed they all knew - that Cyberpriest was going to be buried with René that March afternoon.

Erik was going leave to the family cabin after the funeral and had no plans of returning soon. It would cost him his graduation that spring but it was the only thing he was able to do. And Ian and Jo… He would ask them to get their gear from the basement. Of course he didn't blame them when he thought rationally, but he somehow did - irrationally. Had they not… changed things, maybe then…

One shouldn't think this way. But the result was the same anyway.

It was a dead end.

Erik put on his father's black suit jacket. He wouldn't wear the matching trousers but instead had his own black jeans. Passing the mirror he stopped, surprised how much like an adult he looked. Which made him return to a thought, or a person more like it...

 _Gwen._

Had it been only four months since he had seen her first time, standing there at the shooting range, holding her Desert Eagle? She had been one striking sight with her spherical figure and red hair. Erik had instantly been impressed how she handled the recoil with no difficulty, knowing the gun was infamous for it.

The weather had been dreary and it had been only the two of them.

Who was she? he had thought. Usually he knew everyone.

Erik had walked calmly past her, to his own lane, placing his rifle case on the wooden table, and waited, according to the range etiquette, to discuss their 'cease fire' protocol as the place was unstaffed.

It didn't take but a moment and she paused, removed the magazine, placing it and the gun on the table, then taking off her ear protectors as she turned to look at him. Erik took his own off now too.

"Hi," the stranger said with a low voice that Erik thought matched her bearing perfectly.  
She couldn't have been much older than twenty he estimated.

"Bad weather, huh?" she continued.

He had been a goner that moment, he guessed.

They had ended up trying out each other's weapons which Erik found positively strange, and kind of intimate. Guessing she was somewhat older than him, and assuming she thought he was older than he actually was - like most people did - Erik hadn't mentioned he was still in high school.

Erik was quite surprised when two days later Gwen, as she had introduced herself, entered the computer studies class and introduced herself as the substitute teacher.

"Mr… Stein?" she had asked, going through the list of students.

"Here."

He lifted his hand. His heart was actually pounding.

"Right," Gwen had said looking up so that their eyes had met briefly.

The following day they had met at the shooting range again, and for some odd reason, they had ended up there simultaneously during the following weeks too, and Erik couldn't deny he was always happy to see her car, a sympathetic grey Japanese hatchback, as he parked his car next to it. At school Gwen turned out to be one stellar teacher leading them to study even some university level stuff.

At the range it wasn't strange that they talked to each other, despite being teacher and student, when having breaks and drinking coffee at the self-service snack bar.

Erik had learned that Gwen lived at her brother's house for the time being, having a break from college. She referred to her brother jokingly as Sarge as he had been discharged from service not long ago. Sarge's daughter, her niece and goddaughter Kat, also lived with them. Erik noticed her mother was never mentioned suspecting she was out of the picture.

One January afternoon they were walking back to their cars when Gwen suddenly spoke.

"I'm going to a gig next Saturday. It's the first night of 'Seven Days of Pain' tour at Hades Club. Would you like to come with me?"

It had been quite straightforward and he knew he'd have to match that.  
They had now stopped and faced each other.

"I'd want to but I'm 18. I won't get in."

"If you want we'll get you in. So... I'll pick you up at eight?"

vvv

They were standing by a table at Hades Club.

"Just one beer. Then it's soda for both of us," Gwen said and returned soon with two beers.

There was still time before the first night of the 'Seven Days of Pain' would start.

"I never planned to return to Rock Falls, you know."

"So why did you?" Erik asked.

"I had to... Because I'm sister and a fairy godmother after all. Sarge has post-traumatic stress disorder. And his wife, that..."

Gwen clearly applied some censorship.

"She left."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's okay. He's getting better now so I'll probably leave before summer."

Gwen averted his look which was something she never did and he felt his heart sink.

"You're returning to the college?"

Her college was on the other side of the country.

"Yeah, I've missed it. But I can already tell that I'm going to... miss a lot of things here too."

He considered for a moment. Gwen had restrained herself to one beer, so this wasn't intoxication. He knew she wanted him to ask.

"Like what?"

"You."

Encouraged by her reply, in that quiet corner of the club, Erik took his chance and leaned to kiss her.  
He guessed it had been inevitable. After the kiss Gwen shook her head and took a deep breath.

"I shouldn't have asked you here."

They both knew Rock Falls - she'd be sacked from the school in a split second.

"I know," Erik said brushing her hair, his fingers lingering briefly on her ear.

"But I'm still glad you did."

vvv

After that night she didn't come to the range anymore. He had seen her at the school but she kept her distance. They had a quiet understanding - some things were not meant to be - but it hadn't really eased any of the pain.

And now, the thought of her was just another added layer in the pain.

He needed to leave.

vvv


	18. Chapter 18

**_Wanted a shorter chapter again :)_  
**

 **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**

-v-v-v-

 **CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

…

 _Seven tears are flowing to the river  
And six of 'em are mine_

Those words were repeating in Ian's head. They were the first two lines of a Nargaroth song. But what about that seventh tear? He couldn't help but thinking. The rest of the lyrics were in German so he had to find the translation online. He couldn't believe he had never bothered to do this before. This felt so important. He read the translated lyrics frantically. Apparently the seventh tear fell out of agony, from the same person from whose viewpoint the song was written, although the song starts in first person and then ends in third person. So...did all those seven tears actually belong to the same person, who was I/he in the song? But why didn't he claim the seventh tear in the beginning? Did he not feel it was his after all? Was he ashamed of it? Did he himself miss something in the lyrics? Fuck. This was difficult. As Ian read the four last lines of the translated song again, his tears began to fall. He so agreed, wishing that time could be turned back, that the pain had been just a dream, that he could put his arms around her, Jo, and that love would be in both of their hearts.

"Ian? Are you hungry?"

"No, Mom!" he said trying to make his voice sound as normal as possible.

He just wanted to sleep. Forget. Sleep and forget. Sleep more. Forget more. Go back in time, prevent René's death and claim all that had once been his.

And had he not been in love before, he had fallen in love with Jo that night they drove back from the city, watching the sunrise. And that one week… The memories were too vivid. Too burning. They had been so close. Closer than he could've ever imagined to be with anyone and then...

It all... disappeared.

Just.

Like.

That.

vvv

They had all attended to the funeral but separately standing on the different sides of the graveyard, behind the relatives.

" _I can't do this."_

Ian had approached Jo after the ceremony.

" _I'm sorry."_

He had watched Jo's back as she walked away.

He had been just standing there, who knows for how long, when Erik approached him. He hadn't been rude in any way but had simply asked him to retrieve his guitar and amp from the basement. He had said there was no hurry. He had said he himself needed to be alone and was leaving to a cabin that his family owned. Ian guessed he himself had replied something.

He had stood there a bit longer, thinking how the coffin had been gleaming white with creamy fringes, very elaborate, and he just knew René would have hated it. He had known René for only four months but he was sure of this. He almost burst out laughing when he thought what kind of a scene René would've made complaining about the coffin. But in a second the thought turned somehow upside down and he just wanted to cry.

He couldn't remember how he got back to his car but the tears were soon falling on the steering wheel.

vvv

 _\- we all have or own way of - sometimes it helps if - but the most important thing - just tell - - - - -_

Jo was in the counselor's office but she wasn't really there. She just wasn't. This was denial and isolation, she guessed. Which would eventually progress, possibly, to anger, depression, hopefully acceptance, she was told.

She just wanted to be alone.

...


	19. Chapter 19

**_Swedish House Mafia: "Don't You Worry Child"..._**

 ** _And don't you worry reader, this writer's got a plan for all of them. I hope :)_**

 **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**

-v-v-v-

 **CHAPTER NINETEEN**

 **...**

 **..**

 **.**

Jo thought the world had turned upside down. In the wrong way.

She had returned to school a week after René's funeral.

And now...

... the Drags didn't mess with her anymore.

And Cyberpriest had become a cult legend.

It was also clear her mind wasn't there. She was sleepwalking through the days.

Jo was relieved that as a junior Ian had different classes. He sent her text messages, asking when she'd be ready to talk to him and if he could help somehow... But she sensed… that he was in pieces too, just like her, and how could they be together if they were in pieces? So she had asked for space and time and Ian replied he'd give her as much of both that she needed.

Some part in her was worried how could she ever truly face Ian again… And it was because she blamed herself. For had she not broken her rule of not dating a bandmate and had they never made that stupid song, then René would have never had that conversation with her and ran out of the basement and died.

The counselor called this process bargaining.

It led nowhere.

Jo knew this and still her mind insisted doing it.

vvv

Gwen looked at the sheet on the table, her eyes fixed on the line beginning with the name Erik Stein. She sighed but not because she'd have to fail him now. It was because she was worried.

She knew about René Newman. Everyone in Rock Falls knew. Crisis counseling had been offered to those in need of it and railings were planned at the Ledge. Of course Gwen had assumed Erik would need time to recover - during their time at the range he had often told of his band, and she sensed he was close with the other band members.

But now it had been over a month since René Newman's funeral and Erik was nowhere to be seen.

 _But why should she care?_ Gwen thought back to her first weeks back in Rock Falls, taking care of her brother and her niece. She had been so lonely and stressed and back then meeting Erik had been… like a breath of fresh air. He had also been so different from the college guys she had dated. He was at ease with himself and she was at ease with him and he was just this one strong down-to-earth individual.

Gwen internally scoffed herself thinking how at the shooting range she had waited for their breaks. 22 cups of coffee - that's how many he had bought her from the vending machine and she had bought him 24. It was a stupid technicality to count them but she had. At one point she even had thought she could've easily imagined herself kicking back on the couch with Erik, having a beer, listening to some German black metal band and... even _snuggling_. This was exceptional, Gwen had thought. She had never imagined dreaming of such a scene with anyone. And of course her thoughts often drifted to that night at the Hades Club. To their kiss and the heart-wrenching look in Erik's eyes when she told they needed to stop whatever was happening.

vvv

It was that Friday when Gwen decided some action needed to be taken.

The door had been opened by an elderly woman. This had to Erik's grandmother, she knew. The woman had similar eyes than Erik, and they looked tired, she noted that too.

"Good evening, I'm one of Erik's teacher at school, Ms.-" Gwen began.

She was cut off. Kindly though.

"You must be Gwen."

 _What?_ Had Erik told his grandmother about her? She found this unnerving but in an eerily way flattering too.

"Yes. I am Gwen."

Before she knew it, Mrs. Stein had invited her in and Gwen was sitting in the kitchen, waiting for coffee, talking about Erik's situation. She had stated her worry and told she had come more as a friend than a teacher. Mrs. Stein seemed to already know of their time at the shooting range. Gwen sensed how she was low-spirited Erik's grandmother was talking about his grandson's whereabouts.

"I was hoping he would've come back by now but it seems he just sulks... Well, in that sense he's every bit like his grandfather. I went there two weeks ago and Erik… He made it clear I shouldn't come again soon. And yes, of course he can take care of himself, but what I worry about… "  
She cleared her throat.  
"It's not healthy to bottle up all that grief. Not like that."  
Gwen looked Mrs. Stein's hands, tightening around the coffee cup, and her own words came out before she knew it.  
"I could check up on him sometime this weekend."  
Immediately after saying this she thought whether it was too much although Mrs. Stein didn't seem to disapprove her friendship with Erik. But what her suggestion seemed to trigger was hope, it seemed.  
"You would? Well, maybe he wouldn't… Shut you out. Like he did me... But it's quite a long ride, maybe it's not possible for you to-"  
Gwen cut her off.  
"It's not a problem."

Mrs. Stein had soon given her the instructions how to drive to the cabin.

"I actually got the impression Erik wanted to take you duck hunting..."  
Mrs. Stein began when Gwen was putting on her coat.  
"He just didn't dare to ask, I think."

Well, this was new information, she thought.

vvv

Gwen had left immediately and driven over an hour now. Finally she spotted a small private road and turned according to Mrs. Stein's instructions. Her Yaris had difficulties in the terrain and she had to shift to a smaller gear in some steeper hills. But then, amidst the pine forest, she saw the cabin.

Gwen parked the car next to Erik's, few hundred feet from the cabin. It was about six o'clock and the sky looked like it was about to rain soon. She noted there was a distinct scent of the spring in the air. Now she could also feel the first drops of rain on her face. Looking at the cabin and path leading there it hit her - a thought - or a question more precisely.

 _What the fuck was she doing there?  
_  
She had just followed her gut instinct that this needed to be done. Mostly out of concern, yes, but she had to admit she had missed Erik… But maybe he wanted nothing to do with her anymore. The whole situation could turn out awkward and sad.

But it was not the time to back down now. She had come all this way so she'd at least check up on him and leave.

Gwen took the first steps on the path when she saw the door of the cabin open. Erik, in camo trousers and a white t-shirt, was soon standing on the terrace, looking at her. She instinctively straightened herself, walking calmly towards him. Then she stopped, right in front of the terrace steps, ten feet from him.

They stared at each other. She noticed his beard had grown.

"Hi," Gwen broke the silence.

Somehow, now seeing him, Gwen understood all her fears had been totally uncalled for.

"Hi," Erik replied with a low voice.

vvv


	20. Chapter 20

**-v- Omen Mortis -v-**

-v-v-v-

 **CHAPTER TWENTY**

 **…**

 **..**

 **.**

Gwen was leaning to a timber post on the cabin's porch, looking at the view towards the mountains, wondering how still and peaceful it was - and it was not just the surroundings but how she felt inside. True, she was supposed to leave back to her college town in four weeks when the semester ended but suddenly now, standing there … She felt hesitant.

This was already her second weekend at Erik's cabin. The first one had began oddly.

 _"You failed the course," she had said, standing there and facing him._

 _She caught, even under his beard, how he tried to keep a straight face._

 _"You came all the way here to tell me… this?"_

 _"Your grandma also told me you want to go shoot ducks with me. Is that true?"_

 _"Did she?" Erik could no longer keep a straight face._

 _"Might be true."_

 _Gwen couldn't keep a straight face either. But then their eyes met._

 _"I was worried about you, Erik."  
_

That evening Erik cooked some pasta and they ate.

"Wanna talk about it?" Gwen had asked.

And he actually told her. Of his feelings after René died.

"I was angry at them… Ian and Jo. I know that it wasn't rational but I was angry, blaming them somehow."

"I think you already know what I'm going to say… " she said.  
"You should talk to them."

Erik nodded solemnly.

...

It was a Monday morning. Jo was still in her bed, but not sleeping anymore. The mornings were difficult. They had discussed with the counselor and decided she'd delay her courses and would graduate next year.

Jo was suddenly startled by a knock on her door.

It was her father, Russ, standing in the doorway. She had to blink but he was truly standing there holding two coffee mugs.

"We need to talk, hon. Please come to the porch when you're ready."

Jo got up and put on her clothes, expecting to wake up any moment now. This was too weird. But soon she sat on a plastic patio chair, drinking her late morning coffee.

"I know I haven't been there for you," Russ began, sounding a bit unsure. "I justified everything to myself telling you can take care of yourself, that you don't need me. And you never asked anything so..."

He took a deep breath and Jo felt she was watching her life outside herself. Was this truly Russ, her father?

"I'm sorry, Jo. And now… for once I can see that you'd need me and I know the only way I can help you is to first help myself. Like in the plane… you put the oxygen mask first before putting it on your kid."

He looked at his coffee mug frowning.

"So I called that center my friend Joe always talks about and they're willing to take me in… And yeah, I know Joe became one Jesus freak there but I promise that won't happen to me," Russ gave a mild chuckle. "But I don't want to leave you alone so I was hoping - and I've talked about this with her - that you'd live with Mrs. Stein for the next weeks or so when I'm at the center. She'd love to have you and I know she meant it."

This was a lot to take in. Jo just stared at his father.

"But then… There's another thing I want to talk to you about. Your band," he continued. "I know I've lost any right to give any advice but I feel I have to give it anyway. I'm just saying you shouldn't give up, Jo. I know you lost a friend… But I followed you guys and what you got in Cyberpriest was something special."

"But René _was_ Cyberpriest," Jo got out of herself.

"I know it must feel like that… But what if Metallica had quit when Cliff Burton died? Or Ozzy had call it quits when Randy Rhoads went down with that plane?"

Jo felt she was very awake now. Even agitated.

"Well, do you think Thin Lizzy was truly Thin Lizzy without Phil Lynott?"

"Fair enough," Russ said, briefly smiling, but then he became serious again. "I'm not saying you have to be… Cyberpriest. You can be whatever you want as long as you don't quit. Because with every band - and in this life - there's gonna be that cold wind, and every now and then it's gonna blow hard against you. And the thing is are you going to let it blow you down? I know I've let it do that to me too many times. With your mother I… "  
Jo could suddenly hear the emotion in his voice, stirred up by those sad memories. She felt sorry for him. Russ shook his head.  
"I'm so sorry, hon… I know this has been a lot to take in but I just had to say all this because I don't think I've seen things this clearly… for years maybe. And I don't expect you to forgive me but I'm gonna try to get things right. For good. I hope by the end of this summer I could come home, get the studio up and running again and help you next semester any way if you let me. And..."  
She could hear Russ stopped himself.  
"What is it?" Jo asked.  
"You still haven't talked to Ian, have you?"  
Jo was only able to shake her head.  
"I think you already know what I'm going to say."  
Jo was able to nod.  
"It's not too late, hon," Russ said.

Jo wasn't sure what had happened to Russ. She didn't allow herself to get her hopes up but she did say yes living at Grandma Stein's house. Sure it would bring up memories but she figured she'd have to face them one day.

Also, that evening Jo found herself thinking of that morning when she had been driving back with Ian, watching the sunrise.

"I don't want to go home yet," Ian had said when they passed the sign welcoming them back to Rock Falls.  
"You don't have to," she had replied.

They had walked into Jo's room, taken off their shoes and jackets and crashed on her bed, dead tired. But before they fell asleep she had totally nuzzled her face into Ian's hair making him laugh. In the afternoon they had gotten out of the bed and ordered pizza and Russ had come to the kitchen and to Jo's relief he had been sober. He and Ian had soon been talking about guitars. It couldn't have gone better.

For some time the memory had been unbearable. But now she allowed her mind to trail there and once she did there was no stopping it, being consumed by this feeling that she had hidden from herself.

Of how she missed Ian.

...


	21. Chapter 21

**-v-v-v-**

 **CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE**

 **-v-**

It was the junior prom night and Ian shouldn't have cared less. But in a way he did. Of all the things he and Jo had talked about during the one week they'd been together ... for some reason prom had been one of them.

" _Would you not go to the senior prom with me?"_

 _Her question had made him puzzled._

" _Is that… like an anti-thing?"_

" _Yeah. I wanted not to go there with someone."_

 _"Then of course I won't go wi_ _th you. But promise we won't go to mine either."_

And now... He was hanging out at the edge of a lonely playground next to the school with no one, sitting on a large rock sipping beer - he had come by car so one beer was max. He wasn't sure why he had come there but he kept looking towards the school and the groups hanging outside.

"Smith, right?"

Ian was startled from his thoughts. It was another junior. A dark-haired guy.

"Don't expect you to remember me. We met during the trials…"

He slammed his hand on his chest a bit too dramatically, revealing his intoxication. In his other hand he had a bottle. Whiskey it seemed.

"Lucas."

"Right." Ian nodded. "And yeah, I'm Smith."

"Mind if I hang out here too?" Lucas asked.

Ian shrugged. The jock seemed harmless. He kept sitting on the rock and Lucas leaned to a close-by tree, both of them facing the school.

Suddenly an party of football players and their dates emerged to the school yard. Ian couldn't help noticing Lucas was suddenly downing the whiskey in an accelerated pace.

"That's Janice in the silver dress... " he had time to say before taking another gulp from the bottle. Ian noticed the particular girl had the football captain Bat's arm firmly around her.

"My girlfriend. _I mean_ , ex-girlfriend."

Ian could just sense the open wound. He didn't really know what to say. So he just nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, time will heal wounds and all that shite. But I was done with being a Drag anyway. I've never liked playing football... "

There was a brief silence and then Lucas continued.

"I know about your band... and Newman. That couldn't have been easy either."

He made an empathetic frown and offered his half-full - or half-empty depending on the viewpoint -bottle.

...

 _A no-go. This is a no-go._

The small voice in Ian's head was speaking but suddenly the voice just went quiet - perhaps it was drunk too, just like him.

"C'mon, don't look at me like that," Ian said to his Ford Ka.

He had always thought the small grey car somehow looked sad - and now even more so.

"Besides, I'm not going far."

The strange Lucas guy had shared the rest of his whiskey. After he departed Ian had decided he'd talk to Jo tonight - having this newfound courage.

He sat down to the driver's seat and for a second he just leaned on the steering wheel sighing.

"You'll understand one day … what it's like when you miss someone … like..."

He straightened himself and rubbed his face.

"Fuck... I'm talking to a car."

Ian turned the key in the ignition and turned the volume up. The mix cd just happened to play DragonForce. This was a good sign, Ian thought.

...

He didn't park the car to Jo's driveway but further, to the side of the main road. Coming out of the car he felt nauseous but also slightly more sober. He took in the fresh air and began to walk. When Ian reached the driveway he then saw something he didn't expect.

Erik's car.

 _What… ?_

The bottom-line feeling was hurt. Sure... Erik was her oldest friend. She'd let him come close. Following now came the jealous train of thought... _How close exactly?_

Ian turned back.

…

 _Seven minutes later_

The last thing Ian sensed was the acrid smell of the quickly-inflated-now-deflated airbag.

…


	22. Chapter 22

**-v-v-v-**

 **CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO**

 **-v-  
**

Lights... and white walls zooming by...

 _Panic._

Somewhere… His mother's voice... His father's voice… Then... like stumbling through the darkness... slipping away...

.

.

.

When Ian opened his eyes, it took a moment for him to realize what exactly he was seeing. Finally he took in that he was in a hospital room and it was probably nighttime. He noticed two very familiar figures sitting on the chairs on his right. His parents were somehow leaning to each other, obviously sleeping and for a moment Ian just stared at them.

And in the following moment he panicked. He tried moving his limbs, his head, his fingers - and there was a huge relief - he could still move them.

"Mom... Dad,", he tried to say but his voice wasn't much.

But it was enough since his Mom seemed to be waking up.

"Mom," Ian repeated and within a second, her eyes were open. And within the next second she was up, next to him.

"Richard, wake up! Get the doctor!"

His father startled awake, glanced at Ian and rushed out of the room.

Before he knew it his Mom was holding him and soon someone kindly asked her to move. It was the doctor, a middle-aged man.

"Everything seems promising."

Then the doctor looked Ian straight in the eye.

"I hope you learned your lesson."

But what had actually happened? He remembered walking away from Jo's driveway... But he couldn't recollect how exactly he had ended up in the hospital but it wasn't hard to guess. He could only hope no one else had been hurt. He had to know.

"Did I... hurt anyone?" Ian got out, fixing his eyes on the ceiling, scared of the answer.

"You didn't," his mother said calmly and touched his forehead.

"Except yourself."

Ian couldn't describe the relief. Or what he felt when he heard his father serious voice.

"I'm just happy we didn't lose you, son."

...


	23. Chapter 23

**_The end is nigh :)_**

 ** _Thank you for ArmageddonClan for obvious 'Hand of Doom' inspired stuff!  
_**

 **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**

 **-v-v-v-**

 **CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE**

 **...**

 **..**

 **.**

The next Friday afternoon Ian was dozing off in the hospital bed when he heard it. A drum beat quickly joined by an electric guitar.

He got out of the bed as quickly as he could and within seconds he was by the window, opening it. Even if he had guessed what he'd see, he just stared at the sight. Right under his window, which was on the second floor, there was Jo and Erik, on the neatly cut hospital lawn, under the big maple trees, the latter behind his drum kit and the first very much concentrated on playing her red ESP, her face hidden behind her hair.

Ian's heart immediately missed a beat when he recognized the song... It was A-ha's 'Take on Me'.

She was playing the famous lead riff. It started on the 7th fret of the B string. Jo's index finger then rolled onto the G string just next to it, also on the 7th fret, followed by her ring finger fretting the 9th on the D, G and B strings in turn, and finally her pinky lifting the melody to its highest point.

Ian thought of it almost as an out-of-the-body experience, to be able to concentrate on her left hand from the distance. Especially when the motion was so fluid and minimal.

As the song finished there was a pause as she took the guitar off and put it against the half-stack. For the first time she now looked up and directed her words towards Ian.

"Hi!" she shouted. Erik raised his hand too.

"We have a band here and we were thinking... I mean, we don't have a vocalist or a basist. Or a name. Yet. And we're still looking for musical direction but I... I mean… We'd really need a second guitarist."

She had sounded so nervous, talking way too fast. And Ian just knew what he needed to do.

"Wait, I'll be right there!"

He heard Jo began to shout something back but he had already rushed out of his room, wearing his light blue hospital pyjamas. In a few minutes he raced down the corridor and three flights of the stairs down to the yard. Ian couldn't help thinking that was it this easy to escape from a hospital?

Jo ran to meet him and he noticed Erik remained behind, standing by his drum-set. Ian stopped a few feet from Jo.  
"I'll join your band," he said, now gasping for breath. He had felt perfectly fine until now but his vision suddenly blacked out and he lost his balance.  
"Fuck!" he heard Jo cry out and felt how she caught him in her arms.

They landed on the soft lawn.

"Erik! Get help!"

He felt Jo's hands on his face.

"Ian! Are you okay? Ian?"

He opened his eyes, seeing her blue eyes close to his.

"I'm okay… now," he said.

"Okay. At least you're conscious… Help should arrive soon. Just stay calm."

"Jo, I'm fine. Okay, maybe I shouldn't have run..."

"Damn right you shouldn't have," she cut him off, shaking her head.

"And I know this was too much and like some eighties movie."

"Jo," Ian tried to begin, just to say eighties movies were not a bad reference, but she cut him off again.

"Please. Let me just say something... There was another thing, not just the band thing, I wanted to ask..."

Jo closed her eyes.

"Fuck, I'm so bad at this..."

"I actually kind of hoped you'd figure it out from the song but I still had this great monologue planned out…"

Ian couldn't help but smiling.

...

Jo was desperately trying to remember what she had planned to say... But then, the next moment when she felt Ian giving her a kiss, she thought words were overrated after all.

...

"You seem to be fine," they suddenly heard a nurse's voice above them and the couple sprang apart.  
"We still have to take him back though."

...


	24. Chapter 24

_**This chapter owes a lot to anime 'Violet Evergarden'.**_

 **…**

 **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**

 **-v-v-v-**

 **CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR  
**

 **...**

 **..**

 **.**

 _One month later_

 _._

They had gotten the idea after René's family sent a message saying they could keep all his band gear and do whatever they wanted with it. So now they were by a lake that was close to Erik's cabin. Building the small raft had taken a few hours - they had even done some research from the internet. Gwen was also helping them.

As the night fell they placed René's bass guitar on the raft.

Jo looked at the worn Yamaha. She knew the story behind it. René's parents hadn't been too eager about his new hobby so he had bought the used Yamaha with his own money - from Axes 'n' Amps of course. Later, when his folks had come around and offered to buy a more expensive fancier instrument, he had declined their offer - he was proud of this one.

Jo placed a folded piece of paper under the strings.

Erik was soon waist deep in the water, taking the raft further, a burning torch in his other hand. He threw it to the raft from some distance.

The raft was set ablaze - a mix of gasoline with a hint of absinthe.

As the burning raft drifted further in the blue night Jo thought of the words on the piece of paper... It had probably already burned… It was the day before she had ripped a page from a notebook and began writing...

 _Fuck you, René.  
_

 _For some time that was all I wanted to say to you. Fuck you. For leaving Cyberpriest. For leaving me. But now I know there are more things I want to say but it's not easy… It was always you who wrote the lyrics. I've thought this a lot and I'm sure now. We would have worked it out. I just know. It was what we did, we argued and we fixed things but this time… we didn't get to fix them. Just know, that the way you left, it messed up everything. I hurt so many people... Ian especially. I pushed him away and when I came out of that blackness I thought I had already lost him... But he's something you know. Ian. He took me back even before I had properly even said sorry... And I haven't dared to say it straight to his face but I think I love him.  
Anyway, you should've seen me and Erik that day. I got this idea to play this song to Ian when he was in the hospital (a long story - Ian had been drunk driving, he's not proud of it) and Erik came to help me and we dragged his drum kit and all the PA equipment to that small park at the hospital grounds. Anyway, the song was 'Take on Me'. I still can't believe Erik played 80s synthpop but that shows what a friend he is. Because he is. Sure, we had a rough time after you died but that's all behind now._

 _I'm sure you're happy to hear the three of us will start a new band. I didn't feel right about going on as Cyberpriest… because you were Cyberpriest and I know you know that._

 _I guess that covers most of it... But one more thing… Russ… He's been sober for over a month now. I know… I'm still kind of scared but it's… Well, you know._

 _So I guess this is it…_

 _René,_

 _... I wish you hadn't died._

 _... I wish we could've made more music._

 _... I wish you'd grown old._

 _Goodbye... jackass._

 _Jo_

 _P.S. If you have a suggestion for a band name, let us know._

...

..

.


	25. Epilogue

_**The end! Special t**_ ** _hank you to ArmageddonClan for your reviews!_**

 _ **Song for the final chapter…**_

 _ **Almah: Warm Wind**_

 **-v- Omen Mortis -v-**

-v-v-v-

.

 **EPILOGUE**

.

 _Two months later, September_

…

It was no use, Erik thought, somberly, sitting behind his drum kit in the basement. Not even practicing double bass drumming helped - his heart felt heavy. And why?

 _Gwen was gone._

She had returned to her college a week ago - which was way later than she was originally supposed to - having hung out with Jo, Ian and him most of the summer. In a way she had become a member of their band and had even been allowed to participate in the ceremony of burning René's bass.

"Erik!", he suddenly heard his Grandma shouting from upstairs.

"Come up here!"

Erik sighed and got up. His Grandma very rarely called him this way so it was probably something important.

"Look who's here," Grandma Stein said pouring coffee to…

… _Gwen?_

"So you still wanna go duck hunting?"

vvv

Ian was standing by the roadside, not far from his house. He looked at the grey skies thinking it might rain later. Or then again, maybe it would not. It was the first day of their senior year and Jo was going to pick him up that morning. His driver's licence was after all - and quite rightfully so he thought - suspended till next summer. The orange Datsun now caught his eye, approaching in the distance. Ian was somehow amused that each time he saw the small car he felt this pleasant borderline arrhythmia - and he knew this was caused not by the vehicle but by its driver.

The car stopped and he happily got in.

Watching the now familiar scenery of Rock Falls unfold before him, Ian couldn't help thinking what a journey last year had been. He remembered sitting in his father's car, exactly one year ago, looking at these same streets... And he felt he had been a different person. Allowing his mind wander further down the memory lane he remembered… how still in this sleepwalking-through-life state he saw Cyberpriest at the Halloween festival… And Jo. That day had changed his life. Or maybe it had been the following day, when he walked up to René. Things could have gone very differently.

He glanced at Jo now… Had they actually been snowed in inside the Datsun? Yeah, they had. As proof Jo had stocked even more survival gear in the trunk. But now thinking back to their early encounters, Ian's mind wandered to a random blurry memory… Had he actually carried Jo to the bathroom at the band initiation ceremony - _bridal carry style?_ Yep, he had. But such a thing hadn't recurred after the incident and… now Ian found himself feeling almost sorry for this... The Ford Ka would have been a perfect from this perspective - the doors opened in such a way it was practically designed for easy bridal carry - even at the cost of potential damage to the cars parked next to it. _What was he thinking?_ His Ford Ka was a goner anyway, its carcass stored in the backyard of Karl's garage, so whatever he was thinking, it would be impossible to try it out. _And truly_ , _what was he thinking?_

"What are you thinking?" Jo asked.

Ian's mouth kind of fell agape. And he knew he'd tell her anyway.

"You can tell me."

He already knew she was going to be amused but not in a mean way.

vvv

Having met up with Erik in the lobby of Rock Falls High the three seniors walked to the message board. Jo went for her backpack, taking a sheet out.

"Ready?" she asked.

"Ready," Ian replied.

Erik just nodded.

She pinned the sheet to the board, right in the middle.

It said:

 _/_  
/_

 _WANTED:_

 _A BASSIST_

 _AND_

 _A SINGER_

 _WHO CAN THRASH_

 _\- AGENTS OF METAL -_

 _ _/_  
/__

.

The band name was written in stylized Slayer inspired edgy letters... And then there were of course the contact details.

.

Ian looked at the announcement... and then at Jo and Erik.

.

Who knew what they'd become?

.

 **-v-v-v-**

 **...**

 **THE END  
**

 **...**

-v-v-v-

-v-


End file.
